Listen What The Man Said
by InterNutter
Summary: Xavier detects a new mutant in Winzeldorf, Germany. Mayhem ensues. As well as Scooter-bashing, Centaurs, talking ravens and other portents of doom... Complete Fic!


Disclaimer: They own it, we don't. Please don't steal this as your own.  
Thanks.  
  
Archiving: email cat@devil.com and ask nice. I will then conduct a brief  
poll amongst the other authors and get back to you as soon as there's a  
concensus.  
  
Code-o-rama:  
*bla* - emphasis  
_bla_ - italics or thought  
{bla} - sound effect  
[bla] - foreign language  
~ - between turns  
  
FYI: This fic was written by the following people: InterNutter,  
Amicitia, Lyra Silvertongue, Radical Nike and Scribbler.  
  
Listen What The Man Said  
InterNutter's Bulletin Board  
  
_Damn it, why can't I hit him?_ Scott did everything he could, but the  
enemy was nearing his goal. If he believed in God, he would have prayed  
for a miracle, but he knew better than that. Miracles just didn't  
happen. Unlikely things occurred because of random chance, not some  
omnipotent invisible deity watching everything and listening to the  
thoughts of billions.  
All the same, a miracle would be nice, right about now. He didn't want  
to fail. He couldn't afford to fail.  
Then, just as the enemy's hands neared the target, the entire sim  
wound down with a rude {BRAAAP!}  
"Awww *man*..." said Kurt. "Just one more second. I could have netted  
myself a cool three hundred bucks!"  
"Sorry," said Scott. "Sim's over. It's a draw."  
"Double or nothing?" said Kurt.  
"You have *GOT* to be kidding," said Scott. "I've *learned* my  
lesson."  
"But I need the money, dude."  
"So do I."  
"Ahem," said Professor Xavier. "If the both of you could come up  
here?"  
The massive Danger Room door opened, and they headed out.  
"How about evens or nothing?"  
"Dude, I couldn't afford the bet in the first place."  
"Halves or nothing?"  
"How desperate are you for cash?"  
"Amanda's birthday's just before payday, and everyone's borrowed all  
my money again..."  
Scott nodded expansively. "*Aaaaaaahhhh*... Tell you what. I'll help  
you beat up on your debtors after the Prof's spoken to us. How's that?"  
"Cool," said Kurt. He grinned and gave a double thumbs-up.  
Professor Xavier was waiting for them at the elevator door. "I've just  
got a new reading from Cerebro," he said, looking concerned and worried.  
"There's a new mutant in Winzeldorf, Germany."  
Scott was positive that Kurt hadn't moved or teleported, but the fuzzy  
elf was right on top of Xavier, perched on his knees and both hands  
clasping his shirt. "You're *sure* it's Winzeldorf." He was looking  
wild. Maybe even terrified.  
"Um," said Scott. "Kurt?"  
Kurt leaped onto Scott. "You're right. There's no time to waste."  
{Bamf!}  
Scott blinked. They were in his room. Which implied that Kurt had been  
in his room at sometime or another to 'get a feel for it'. Ew. "Kurt,  
what the--?"  
"Hurry up and pack, man; we're wasting time! I'll be back in a few. Be  
ready!"  
{Bamf!} He was gone.  
_What the hell?_ Scott wondered.  
_I'd pack, if I were you,_ Professor Xavier advised telepathically.  
_Kurt knows more about this situation than I possibly could. Listen to  
what he has to say._  
Scott grabbed a case and flung clothes in.  
{Bamf!} "Sehr gut! You're ready! Bring your fakes!" Kurt opened a  
drawer and grabbed a few cards that declared their bearer to be over  
twenty-one. He flung them in the case and shut it, then seized Scott.  
"Let's go!"  
{Bamf!} And they were now in the Blackbird's hangar.  
_I think I'm going to be sick..._ Scott lurched into the jet. "What is  
up with you and Winzeldorf?" he asked, barely managing to strap himself  
in before Kurt began to taxi.  
"That was where I was nearly burned at the stake," said Kurt.  
  
~  
  
Scott spent a long minute staring at his friend. "You're kidding me."  
"Nein."  
"Burned at the stake."  
"Almost," said Kurt with a shrug.  
"How the hell can you get *almost* burned at the stake?"  
"I 'ported out after they lit the fire. But I had to wait until it was  
pretty hot, so that they'd think I'd died."  
Scott blinked again. "You can't possibly be serious. There's no *way*  
anyone in this day and age burns anyone at the stake. This is just  
another Centaur story, isn't it?"  
Kurt rolled his eyes. "You'll find out in your own time..." he sighed.  
"Tradition's very important in the Schwarzwald; and the people there  
tend to dislike strangers, foreigners, gypsies, and the different. In  
that order."  
"Do they like *Centaurs*?" Scott asked, teasing.  
"Shoot them on sight," said Kurt. "Especially in Winzeldorf."  
Scott snorted. "Shyeah. Right. Centaurs again." He relaxed. "Probably  
a sleepy little town in the middle of nowhere with five families, three  
kids and a pony. Somewhere where there's no excitement whatsoever."  
  
Winzeldorf, Germany.  
"This way!"  
"Kill the witch!"  
"Send her to Hell!"  
Gabi leaned against the wall between two houses and tried to catch her  
breath. She needed it for what she was about to do. She took a deep pull  
of air and held it... and time...  
...slowed...  
...down...  
...to a complete halt.  
Gabi slunk out of the 'alleyway' and moved as fast as she could  
through air that had turned thick like water, towards another little  
niche between wattle-and-daub houses with thatched roofs. She made it  
just in time, her breath ripped out and time resumed. She couldn't do  
this forever. Even the village people knew that.  
She just prayed she could do it for long enough.  
  
Meanwhile, at a German airport, the X-Jet landed at its appointed  
place at the appointed time. While it refueled, Kurt and Scott got  
changed.  
Kurt was in some of his more threadbare stuff that never left the  
mansion, while Scott just wore what he always wore.  
"Ach, you look like an aussenseiter..."  
"I *am* an outsider," said Scott.  
"Well, that's not good. We'll have to get you some new old clothes."  
"What?"  
Kurt sighed. "Weren't you *listening*? You have to blend *in*." He  
activated his holowatch, then dug in Scott's case for a suitable fake.  
"Use this ID and let me do the talking."  
"Why?"  
He rolled his eyes, "Because it's illegal to drive unless you're  
twenty-one, and we're going to need a fast car."  
"Why?" said Scott.  
"Because to do this right, we need stealth. And that means blending  
in. We can't just barge in, grab the unfortunate, and blast our way  
out."  
"Why?"  
Kurt rolled his eyes again. "Grow up, man. I don't have time to  
explain everything. Ach... I'll have to explain you as mein dullard  
older brother. Or an American movie person. Here, at least. A different  
lie for a different village; just like the old days." He tossed Scott  
his suitcase, grabbed his own gunny sack, and headed for the door. "You  
coming?"  
Scott followed, feeling more and more like Alice down the rabbit-  
hole.  
  
~  
  
There were plenty of shirts for sale in the airport boutiques, but all  
of them screamed "Idiot Tourist Here!"  
The exhausted duo eventually quit and collapsed onto a bench to review  
strategy.  
"None of my stuff will fit you," Kurt said, staring at his bag.  
"Especially not the pants," Scott mumbled.  
"Vas? You have a problem with my pants?"  
"No, not at all..." Scott purposely looked the other way.  
"Okay," Kurt rose from his seat. "Let's get a car. There will be  
something to buy in the city."  
"You want me to stand?" Scott groaned.  
"I'm not carrying you," Kurt rolled his eyes.  
"Okay. I'm coming."  
  
Kurt argued with the clerk in rapid German, presumably regarding  
Scott's age and the price of the rental car. Finally, they came to a  
grudging agreement.  
"Keys," Kurt gave said object to Scott. "Insurance policy. License.  
Don't lose them. Car's in the garage."  
"I take it there's no tram?"  
"Why would you drive to a car?"  
"Because..." Scott paused, considering how he could complete the  
sentence without sounding whiny.  
Kurt was already walking. "You want your stuff, you carry it," he  
called over his shoulder.  
Scott sighed, picked up his case, and followed his friend.  
  
The parking lot had to cover 10 acres. Later, Scott would claim it  
took two hours to find the car. Kurt said it was only 15 minutes, and  
blamed jet-lag for the confusion.  
After putting their things in the trunk, they both approached the left  
side of the car.  
"You're driving," Kurt said.  
"Yeah..."  
"This is a European car."  
"Ohhhh!"  
Sheepishly, Scott went around the other side and slid in behind the  
wheel.  
  
~  
  
He was driving. Through a strange city. In another country. With jet-  
lag. Looking for clothes that would make him blend in with the  
Winzeldorfians.  
Scott had more than a sneaking suspicion that Kurt was setting him up  
for something.  
That, and he could barely make sense out of the road signs. But that  
hardly mattered, since Kurt was a champion backseat driver.  
"No Centaurs yet," he said, in an effort to shut the elf up.  
Kurt tisked. "Of course not! We're not in the Schwarzwald, yet." He  
pointed. "There! That's the place we want. Find a park."  
Scott tried - for a bout fifteen minutes, before he was successful.  
Kurt, the hyperactive annoyance, had managed to get their money  
changed to Duechmarks, and fed the meter before dragging Scott into the  
German equivalent of St Vincent de Paul's[1].  
Scott instantly put his fingers in his ears as a ward against the  
music. "Do they *have* to play techno music in here?"  
"Gets people in," Kurt said, barely audible over the repetative  
thumping. "Mach Schnell! We have to make you look like a local!"  
Scott looked. So far, nobody seemed to be staring at his attire.  
"What's wrong with what I've got?" he asked.  
"Too new," said Kurt. "Winzeldorf doesn't have much money, so new  
clothes are out. So are new shoes."  
_He has *got* to be pulling my leg..._ Scott thought. _I'm gonna look  
like a hobo._  
  
"Well? Need any help?"  
"No. And I'm not coming out. I look like a dork."  
"Then I'm coming in," said Kurt. "Unless you have something to  
hide..."  
_I hate that line._ "*Fine*. I'm coming out. Thanks a bunch, Kurt. I'm  
gonna kill you for this, later."  
Kurt smiled. "Wunderbar! You look perfekt. Er. Except the shoes. What  
happened to the shoes I gave you?"  
"They were a smidge too tight," said Scott. He felt like a ragbag.  
Khaki and brown was not _him_. "I'd be limping."  
Kurt rolled his eyes as if to say, _Moron._ "That was the *point*,  
man... You can't be a young man in Winzeldorf if you don't limp." He  
grinned. "People pass on their shoes in wills."  
"Even horseshoes?"  
"Clappe! I alreasy *told* you there aren't any Centaurs in Winzeldorf.  
Now get back in there and put on the shoes."  
Scott sighed. It was going to be a *long* day.  
  
"Do I have to wear these things while I'm driving?"  
"Yes."  
"How much further to Winzeldorf?"  
"About five more hours, as the crow flies."  
"*WHAT*? We could have flown there!"  
"Ja. If you like being *killed*... Get a clue! These are people who  
are more than a little distanced from the twenty-first century. We've  
got to be subtle."  
"Subtle," said Scott. "We're both in rags and bad shoes and we're  
going to be subtle?"  
"Trust me. I've been there."  
"Shyeah. And you *also* tell us you have a Centaur and a midget as  
best friends."  
Kurt glared at him. "One of these days, mein fruend, you'll find out  
the truth, because it will be biting you on the ass."  
"Whatever," said Scott. "How much further?"  
"If we hurry, we can make it there by sunset."  
It was midday.  
Scott turned on the radio and tried to find a station that wasn't  
playing techno or polka. There wasn't one.  
*Fab*.  
  
[1] Recycled clothing centre that's very popular in my neck of the  
woods. Feel free to supply the American equivalent.  
  
~  
  
By 3 o'clock, Scott had the disturbing feeling that the apparent  
scenery was actually a scrolling backdrop.  
"You want me to drive?" Kurt said.  
"I thought you were underage."  
"So are you."  
"You're more underage."  
"There's no one here."  
"How do you know?"  
"Have you seen anyone since we left the city?"  
"Uh..." Scott pondered that. "If you're so sure there's no one here,  
why are you still wearing your watch?"  
"If you think I intend to take it off, we're turning around to find  
you a head doctor."  
"I love you too," Scott muttered. His eyes hurt, he wanted to sleep,  
and he was increasingly convinced that they were lost. Now was *not* the  
time to argue with him. "Fine," he said, easing onto the brake. "You  
drive."  
"Yahoo!" Kurt practically shoved Scott out the door and bounced into  
the other seat. "*Now* we can make it by sunset," he said, as the little  
car lurched up to highway speeds and continued accelerating.  
Scott covered his eyes and moaned.  
  
~  
  
He would have got some decent rest, too, if it wasn't for a certain  
elf talking to himself. In German.  
"Kurt," he said, eyes closed. "If you don't shut the fuck up, I'm  
going to kill you, soon. In case you haven't noticed, some people are  
trying to *SLEEP*!"  
Kurt veered suddenly down a side road that had last been repaired  
sometime in the roaring 20's. "I'm working on mein patter," he said. "I  
need the lies to sound convincing when we get there, ja? Don't want to  
join our mutant on the stake."  
"What is it with you and fire?" Scott wondered. "They aren't going to  
be burning anyone in Winzeldorf."  
"Only if we can get there before sunset," said Kurt.  
"Sunset?"  
"The fire looks better in the dark."  
"...Centaurs," Scott muttered, trying to get comfortable in a car that  
was shaking worse than a dog in sleet.  
  
Gabi screamed, held fast in the arms of people who, before today,  
she'd counted amongst her friends and family.  
Her own mother spat on her.  
She daren't hold her breath. The last time she'd touched a frozen  
person, they'd almost died from the force of her skin brushing  
theirs[1]. She knew, without a doubt, that they'd burn her.  
But first, they'd put her in the stocks, for the whole village to  
revile and despise. Until night, when her life would be over.  
It was pointless resisting. There was no hope. No rescue. No escape.  
Even if she did shatter the stocks and run, she could only run so far.  
There were demons and monsters in the Schwarzwald. Anywhere away from  
civilisation was death.  
But then, so was civilisation.  
Gabi wept as eggs and rotten vegetables hit her. She couldn't do  
anything. It was only delaying the inevitable.  
  
[1] There was a Hallmark movie about this, but all the names are  
forgotten. Basic plot - some guy accelerates himself in time and does  
weird things 'cause a 'normal' force in frozen time is roughly  
equivalent to being stronger than Superman, owing to the inertia.  
  
~  
  
Kurt landed heavily on the brakes, and for the first time in his  
teenage life, Scott Summers screeched. They were fifteen minutes outside  
of Winzeldorf. Before the bedraggled team leader could get a "What the-"  
out of his mouth, however, Kurt spoke in a quiet, shocked voice.  
"I can hear them," he said shudderingly. Scott, who had been peering  
out of the back window to make sure no one was trying to get by them on  
the deserted back-country road, stopped and looked at Kurt with a  
puzzled frown.  
"I didn't know your hearing was that good." He didn't bother to ask  
who could be heard.  
"It's nearly a riot. I can hear it - it's the same tone they had when  
they-" Kurt cut himself off, too emotionally tense to want to think  
about it.  
Not being experienced with this sort of thing, Scott finished the  
sentence for him. "When they tried to burn you at the stake?" Kurt  
nodded silently at the road ahead. "We should get going then, shouldn't  
we?" Another nod, and then they were peeling down the road at, if it was  
possible, double the speed they were going before.  
  
~  
  
Gabi had been twelve on the day that her fellow Winzeldorfians had  
captured a real live demon and burned it at the stake. She'd been  
allowed, under parential supervision, to come close and take a good look  
at one of the devils that had come out of the woods.  
He'd been wearing people-clothes, and he didn't look all that scary.  
Sort of, but not quite, like a fuzzy blue boy, unconscious and bloody  
and bruised. Were it not for the pointed ears and demon's hindquarters,  
he would have almost passed for normal.  
She should have known she was a witch then, when she wasn't afraid of  
the demon.  
Mother had had her suspicions, when she'd been born with all white  
hair, save for a lock of raven black at her brow. The mark of someone  
touched by magic. But Mother had hidden her hair under caps and bonnets  
and, when she was older, carefully combed the raven lock out of public  
view, and heavily chastised young Gabi whenever she touched her hair.  
Now Mother was throwing rotten fruit at her. Because her witch's lock  
was out in the open, as well as her foul sorcery.  
The demon had led Winzeldorf a merry chase before he was burned.  
Gabi just surrendered.  
  
Kurt muttered curses as he came up on Winzeldorf. He could already see  
the pyre being built in the town square. Flashbacks to his own, personal  
encounter with the flames could wait. He had to deal with this now. And  
deal with it in the right way.  
And that meant obeying the speed limit.  
Which was why he was cursing.  
"Geez..." said Scott, observing the scene ahead. "You weren't  
kidding... They're gonna burn her!"  
"Here's the story," said Kurt. "We're from the next village, and we've  
heard that they've caught a demon, so we're going to go see. You are my  
mute, blind brother." He flicked a switch on his watch and his hair  
became brown-black. "I'm gonna park the car out of sight and we're going  
to have to leg it the rest of the way."  
"Why not 'port?"  
Kurt gave him a patented are-you-mad-or-just-stupid stare.  
"Oh. That."  
Kurt pulled up amongst some shrubbery. "We go in, play our parts, and  
wait for the right moment. You don't do anything unless the situation  
gets bad. Understand?"  
"Hey, I thought I was supposed to be the leader here..."  
"You don't know what we're walking into," said Kurt. "I do."  
  
~  
  
The outskirts of the town were silent and unoccupied. Kurt strode  
forward with a purpose in his stride, but Scott hung back for a few  
moments to just marvel at the - familiarity of it all. It seemed like  
this entire situation was one in an old movie, and Scott had mistakenly  
pressed the "Enter" button on the remote.  
That was when he saw the crowd ahead of them and jogged up to join  
Kurt.  
It was a massive crowd for such a small town, about a hundred-fifty  
wide and shouting. Scott had been near riots before, but this...the pure  
energy exuding itself from the screaming mass was enough to knock  
someone over.  
Kurt searched for a way in. He knew that somewhere in the center of  
the crowd was some poor soul getting plastered with rotten fruits and  
vegetables. Lord knew where the villagers got that supply of produce...  
He had to find a way in, somehow, but he couldn't touch anyone. It was  
already becoming difficult for him to think clearly with the same people  
from several years ago clamoring for a demon just in front of him.  
Resisting the urge to back up against a wall and plead for mercy, Kurt  
grabbed Scott, whose jaw was hanging open, and dragged him behind a  
nearby wall.  
"We need a plan."  
Scott gathered his wits. "Right. You have more experience with this  
kind of thing. What do you suggest we do?"  
"We need to find a way in without them suspecting anything. That rules  
out just pushing through the crowd." Kurt gestured with his hand at  
himself.  
Scott nodded. "So we'll have to cause a distraction of some kind. What  
do you think?"  
"I don't know!" Kurt panicked suddenly. "Winzeldorf - this place has  
haunted my dreams for the past three years! Now I have to save somebody  
from the same thing that nearly happened to me? Oh, sure, why don't I  
just lead them on a grand chase again...that oughta work! We're doomed!  
That poor mutant" he pointed his arm at the crowd through the wall "out  
there is doomed! And there's nothing we can do about it!" Kurt paused to  
catch his breath.  
"Dude, calm down. You just gave me an idea." Scott slipped into leader-  
mode and noted in his strangely calm mind that Kurt tended to be less  
than articulate when panicked.  
"Was?"  
Point. "You can lead them on another wild chase. Only this time, you  
won't have to wait that long to teleport - just until I get the victim  
out of there."  
"No way. I am not going through that thing all over again. Besides,  
you think they're going to abandon their new 'demon' just to chase me?"  
"That's my hunch. We're dredging up the past, here. People have been  
known to get hysterical about the past." Scott gave him a slight glare  
through a layer of ruby-quartz.  
It took Kurt a moment, but then he nodded, defeated. "Fein. Fein, I'll  
do it. Curse you for using logic against me," he joked, then proceeded  
to turn off his holowatch. He saluted to Scott once in his true form,  
gave him a nervous grin, and teleported to the top of a building  
nearby.  
  
~  
  
Scott turned his attention to the mob before him. He couldn't  
understand what they were yelling, but privately, he was glad of that  
fact. Mustering up all the frustration and anger he had silently  
hoarded over the years, Scott forced his face into a frightening scowl.  
Fists clenched and shoulders stooped in rage, he stalked to the front of  
the crowd, shoving maddened rioters aside.  
In the blood-crazed atmosphere, another madman went unnoticed. The  
only difference was that he had it in for the mob.  
  
Kurt shuddered on the rooftop, marking his friend's easy progress  
through the crowd. The hot glare on Scott's face was disturbing, and  
Kurt had to remind himself that Scott had modest talent as an actor.  
The noise in the square echoed unpleasantly in the furred mutant's ears,  
like he was hearing it through wet wool.  
_CalmdowncalmdowncalmdownCALMDOWN-_  
Scott had stopped directly in front of the poor child in the stocks.  
The victim was so filthy from the foul missiles that Kurt couldn't  
distinguish was their _sex_ was, let alone what they really looked  
like.  
The mutant in the stocks was limp with terror. The only way Kurt was  
even sure that the child was alive was the rapid movement of his/her  
eyes, which were the only thing clearly visible - but only because a  
white rictus surrounded the iris.  
"Hurry, Scott," he prayed. "The sun is starting to set." He was so  
tense that his tail was standing out perfectly straight behind him, like  
an arrow.  
Kurt saw Scott pick up a ragged board nearly two yards long. The  
crowd cheered as the stranger in the red shades jumped up onto the  
platform and raised the board over the helpless mutant's head.  
The poor thing twitched, then began to madly thrash inside the stocks,  
screaming. A girl, then.  
She was screaming to God to save her.  
Scott brought the board down.  
Galvanized by the girl's wild screams, Kurt leapt to the edge of the  
roof. Scott was close enough to free her from the stocks, now, and there  
was no more reason to wait!  
  
~  
  
"[Go ahead!]" Kurt shouted in German. "[Try and burn her. Just like  
you tried to burn me!]" He tried not to wince at the screams, and turned  
it into a sneer. "[Do you honestly think *fire* can harm those from  
Hell?]"  
Someone hucked a rock. The chase was on.   
Kurt leaped, turning somersaults on his way down, then galloping away  
on all fours. _That's it, gentle townspeople,_ he thought. _Watch me.  
Chase me. You'll find me harder to catch than the last time..._ That  
'last time' in mind, Kurt kept in the open. His previous escape from  
Winzeldorf had been curtailed by someone in an alleyway with firewood  
and an unnerring aim.  
The Winzeldorfians were a superstitious and cowardly lot, and hung  
back far enough to only throw missiles.  
But that didn't mean that Kurt was stupid enough to slow down and let  
them catch up.  
_Verdammt... I didn't ask Scott where we were gonna meet up..._  
  
"Er. Uh. Guten Tag, Fraulein," said the remaining person. He was a  
foreigner. A foreign devil. And the blue devil. They had to be in league  
with each other. "Um. Sprechen sie Englisch?"  
No devil was going to claim *her*.  
Gabi held her breath and struggled against the stocks. They shattered,  
and she turned and ran away from both him and the crowd. Which meant she  
was heading straight towards the forests.  
Forests that were full of strange creatures, demons, and witches.  
But then, Winzeldorf had called *her* a witch, too.  
  
"The hell?" said Scott, recovering from the blast. The stocks were  
shattered and there was no sign of the girl.  
And, to top things off, the townspeople had cornered Kurt on top of a  
building.  
They were throwing flaming torches at him.  
Shoot.  
Flaming torches plus thatch equalled bad news.  
"Stop!" he yelled, blasting an airborne torch out of the air.  
The Winzeldorfians turned on him.  
"[Sorcerer!]"  
"[Kill him!]"  
_Crud...._  
  
From his rooftop vantage point, Kurt saw the whole thing. His sharp  
eyes picked out a huddling figure on the edge of the woods.  
_Sehr gut..._ he thought, _She's close to Heirelgart._  
Scott, on the other hand, was close to being shredded.  
"Dummkopf," he muttered, and focussed on his position.  
{Bamf!} He grabbed hold of Scott. {Bamf!} He grabbed hold of the new  
mutant. "[Sorry, Fraulein,]" he said, "[But we have to save you.]"  
{Bamf!} He was two miles closer to home.  
{Bamf! Bamf! Bamf! Bamf! Bamf! Bamf! Bamf!} Two miles, each time, with  
a heavy load. Kurt dropped to the ground at the last one, panting  
heavily and watching blood drip from his nose.  
Both his passengers were almost as bad. He'd managed to take the brunt  
for them, true, but multi-'porting took it out of anyone.  
The girl huddled into a hysterical ball and prayed to God for her  
continued safety.  
Scott was looking like he wanted to hurl.  
"Look after her," he ordered. "I'm gonna get help."  
"Out here?" Scott managed, swallowing rapidly. "How?"  
"Express," said Kurt, and put a finger and thumb in his mouth. He blew  
an ear-piercing whistle, then propped himself up on a handy tree.  
"Schwartzi should've heard that."  
"The *pope* should've heard that," Scott muttered.  
Kurt grinned. "You'll see, soon, mein fruend. You'll be laughing on  
the other side of your face."  
{Rawk! Rawwk!} A raven fluttered down from the sky and landed on  
Kurt's knee.  
  
Scott stared. Okay. So the pet raven story wasn't a complete lie. It  
was still amazing to watch.  
Kurt removed his cross, something that happened so rarely it was a  
calendar event.   
"Kurti, Kurti, Kurti," said the Raven. "Kurti Festlichkeiten."  
"Arbeit, zuerst," said Kurt. "Holen Sie Andrei. Mühe."  
_That would be the Centaur Andrei?_ Scott thought. _The guy who's  
Kurt's pretend friend? We're doomed._  
Kurt looped the pendant's chain around the raven's leg, making sure it  
was secure before sending the bird skyward with an exhausted,  
"Tschüss!"  
{Rawwwk! Raaaawwwk!} ""Holen Sie Andrei... Andrei, Andrei, Andrei..."  
The bird flew away. "Mühe. Mühe."  
Kurt smiled, "You'll see," and promptly fainted.  
Which left him with a terrified girl who didn't speak his language.  
How the heck did he get *into* these pickles?  
  
~  
  
The moon was just beginning to rise over the village Heirelgart and  
the breeze carried a clean smell of cut grass and caramel apples.  
People still wandered the streets, enjoying the pleasant evening,  
chatting with their neighbors and yelling after rambunctious children,  
who would all too soon be seeking their beds.  
It was Andrei the Centaur who noticed the red glow on the horizon  
first, but soon enough, a sizable crowd had drawn together. The night  
was still idyllic, but the wind had taken a firmer edge.  
"Isn't that Winzeldorf?" a Romani wife asked her husband.  
"Could be."  
Andrei trotted out of town, climbing a small hillock that granted a  
view of several miles.  
Most assuredly, there was a fire in Winzeldorf. It was God's own  
justice, the young man thought to himself, but the disaster of a fire  
inside a village with scarce resources to fight it made him shudder from  
the top of his head to the tip of his hooves.  
Fires in Winzeldorf. It made him think of bad times.  
He shook his tail fiercely. _Stop calling up ghosts_, he told himself  
sternly. _Kurt is safe on the other side of the world_.  
It was as if God was paying attention tonight, because a raucous raven  
came spearing through the night sky.  
"Andrei! Andrei! Kurti! Kurti!"  
_Scheiss._  
  
~  
  
Andrei Guismann held up and arm for the bird to roost on. Sure enough,  
the verdammt thing had Kurt's cross on its leg.  
Scheisse.  
"What about Kurti?"  
"Trouble, trouble. Fetch me Andrei. Kurti trouble."  
Since when did those two words *not* go together? "There's a girl,  
isn't there?" he said rhetorically. "There's always a girl."  
"Trouble, trouble, trouble. Kurti treats. Schwartzi worked."  
"Yeah, yeah, yeah," Andrei detatched the cross from the bird, and fed  
it a few breadcrumbs. "There, you little extortionist, now lead me to  
Kurti."  
"Kurti!" {Rrraaawwwk!} "Kurti, Kurti, Kurti... Find a way."  
_If he weren't my near-brother, I'd kill 'im._ Andrei lumbered into a  
gallop.  
  
_Let's take stock,_ thought Scott. _I'm in the middle of BF nowhere.  
My native guide and translator is out cold. My only companion is  
bordering on hysteria, doesn't speak English, and can vanish on command.  
I'm so sick from 'porting that I swear I'm gonna puke and the rental  
company is going to eat me alive... If I live that long._  
Somewhere in the distance, a horse was galloping. All Scott could see  
in that direction was part of a dilapidated fence.  
{Raaaaawwwk!} The raven was back. It had lost Kurt's cross. "Kurti,  
Kurti."  
The galloping horse was getting closer. And louder.  
All of a sudden, a massive *shape* launched out of the underbrush,  
over the fence, and sailed right over their heads. It landed, hooves  
digging furrows in the soft earth.  
_Oh. My. God..._ Scott almost stopped breathing.  
The figure scrambling to a halt was something unseen outside of  
special effects departments. Save this was living flesh. Larger than  
life. Literally. From the top of his head to the tips of his - hooves.  
The horse-half was equivalent in bulk and build to a Clydesdale, and a  
golden hue. The massive torso that sprouted from the 'neck' should have  
belonged to Arnold Schwartzenegger's younger clone, and threatened to  
burst out of the simple handmade smock that covered just about  
everything pink.  
"What's the matter?" said Andrei, his voice a booming bass. "Didn't  
Kurti tell you about me?" Then he noticed Kurt. "Ach. *Cheeseweight*...  
What trouble have you got into now, eh?"  
  
~  
  
"English," Scott's brain struggled to catch up to his external senses.  
"You speak English...English good."  
"Me speak English," Andrei said slowly. "And other. Who you?"  
Scott shook himself. "Scott. Kurt's friend from America. And...I'm  
about to be sick."  
He ran behind the only tree close enough, and purged himself.  
"Ach," Andrei muttered, noticing the other person. "This must be the  
girl. Madchen?" he said more distinctly. "Wie heissen Sie?"  
Gabi uncovered her face, took one look at him, and feel back into  
crying. "Ich bin eine Hexe!" she hiccuped. "Die boese Hexe Gabi!"  
Scott stumbled back into the open. "Whusshe say?" he slurred.  
"Says she's a witch," Andrei blinked.  
"She's a mutant," Scott slumped onto the ground next to the still-  
prone Kurt.  
"Er redet sie sind eine Mutant," Andrei translated.  
"Es macht nichts!"  
Andrei looked at Scott and shrugged helplessly.  
"Madchen Mutant!" Schwartzi chirped happily. "Kurti Mutant, Kurti  
liebet Madchen!"  
"Clappe, Vogel," Andrei swatted at the raven, which jumped to a higher  
branch.  
"Schlimm Andrei," Schwartzi scolded. "Kurti Muehe. Hilfe, hilfe."  
"Right," Andrei bent over Kurt and slipped the black cord over his  
head, then hefted him in his arms. "Gabi, kommen. Heirelgart ist  
sicher."  
Scott offered his hand as he passed her. After a moment's indecision,  
she accepted his help, and they followed the centaur.  
"Kommen, Schwartzi auch!" the raven called, and joined the strange  
traveling party.  
  
~  
  
It was truly a sight to behold for the citizens of Heirelgart when  
Andrei, Kurti (who should have been on the other side of the world),  
Scott (who nobody in Heirelgart really knew), and Gabi (whose identity  
was indeterminable due to an excess of vegetable matter) tromped out of  
the woods. Had their hair not already been gray because of Kurti's  
previous exploits, Mr. and Mrs. Wagner would have changed color all over  
again.  
"[Andrei! What happened?]" Mrs. Wagner was the first to run out to the  
strange (for Heirelgart) group. The rest of the town began reacting with  
concern behind Mrs. Wagner. "[What's Kurti doing here?]"  
"[Schwartzi just came and-]" Andrei started to reply.  
"[Never mind that, let's get these three inside. They look to be in  
bad shape.]"  
Henrick, the town cynic, had walked up to them, being too suspicious  
to truly be afraid of anything. "[Astrid, how can you be sure you can  
trust these two strangers?]" He gestured at Scott and Gabi.  
By this time, Mr. Wagner had caught up with his wife. "[They're with  
Kurti and Andrei. That's all we need to know.]"  
Then Mrs. Wagner headed for her home, Andrei following with Kurt still  
in arms.  
Scott, however, hesitated for a moment. This whole thing kept getting  
stranger and stranger, but...well, Kurt had led him this whole way. Why  
not keep going? Keeping a firm grip on the shell-shocked Gabi's hand, he  
followed the Wagners and Andrei into the house.  
  
~  
  
"What happened to him, anyway?" Andrei asked as he lay Kurt across the  
Wagners' couch.  
"Excessive 'porting with weight above safe capacity," Scott replied,  
prying Gabi off his arm into a seat.  
"Dummkopf," Andrei rolled his eyes.  
Astrid dug a jar of honey out of the cabinet, scooped a generous  
spoonful, and levered it into Kurt's mouth.  
"Ungh?" he opened his eyes. "Tag, Mama," he mumbled. "Vas ist fuer  
Abendessen?"  
"Everything, I think," Astrid returned the spoon to the table and  
started to set up to cook.  
Andrei found a box of cookies and pressed them into Kurt's hands.   
  
~  
  
As Kurt snaffled the cookies, the small house began to fill with the  
smells of a calorie-laden supper.  
"Soup's on!" Astrid called. She brought a half-filled bowl to Kurt,  
helped him sit up, and put the spoon in his hand.  
His 'danke' was lost in a cacophany of slurps.  
"Gabi?" Andrei approached the girl. "Suppe?"  
"Nein," she shook her head vigorously. "[I won't take anything]."  
Kurt drained the bowl and went to the kitchen. "Mehr?" he asked  
hopefully.  
Astrid filled the dish almost to overflowing. Kurt ignored the spoon  
and drank it. "Make it three."  
It was more than three. The bowl filled and emptied more times than  
Scott could keep track of.  
"Anything for you?" Mr. Wagner asked.  
"I don't think I could keep it down," Scott grimaced.   
  
~  
  
"Ach," said Andrei. "This is worse than when he tried to teleport  
*me*... Ow."  
"[What'd you say?]" said the American.  
"What did he say?" said Gabi.  
"Ach!" Mama Wagner handed over yet another bowl of soup. "I'm *so*  
glad the girls are at the other end of the village." She shook her head.  
"They're worse gossips than your kind, Andrei."  
"We came as soon as we heard!" Katja burst into the house.  
"Is there really a stranger here?" Anja followed.  
"Is she really from Winzeldorf?" Erika bought up the rear. None of  
them had washed their feet. But then, nobody had been washing feet since  
Andrei had barged in.  
"There *is* a bowl of water outside of the door," said Mama Wagner.  
"Bowl of water?" said Gabi.  
"[What's going on?]" said the American.  
Andrei and the girls trooped outside to wash their feet.   
  
Astrid draped a blanket around the nervous and shaking Gabi. "There,  
dear. You try to calm down, ne? Nobody's going to hurt you here."  
"But I'm a witch..." she murmured.  
"That's fine," said Astrid. "We live next door to a pair of  
sorceresses. And a family of Centaurs. Having a witch in the house is  
not that unusual."  
Her eyes darted towards Kurti. "B-b-but I'm evil."  
"Na? You came in uninvited, didn't you? Astride a Centaur. Not even  
the Devil could do that."  
Gabi blinked and shivered. "I should have burned. I should have  
burned."  
"[What's going on?]" said Scott.  
"[Your friend's in shock,]" said Astrid. "[Winzeldorf can do that to  
people.]"  
Johannes surfaced at last, from his workshop. He was bearing a bowl of  
warm water and some washcloths. "I heard the word 'Winzeldorf' and  
thought I'd better be prepared. Hello, miss. Want to wash?"  
  
~  
  
Gabi eyed the bowl suspiciously. "Not in that."  
"It's tap water," Johannes sighed.  
"I haven't seen it," the girl said stubbornly.  
Johannes set the bowl on the table. Kurt pointedly dipped some into  
his cup and drank it. "Doesn't hurt me," he said.  
Gabi studied him, and a flash of realization crossed her face.  
"You...you're the demon from two years ago."  
"I was hoping that wouldn't be my claim to fame," Kurt served himself  
more roast.  
"[Anybody have a Babelfish]?" Scott said, for lack of anything more  
useful to say.  
"[Ask Mr. Prefect]," Kurt replied.  
"What's going on?" Katja asked as they all re-entered the house.  
"Hello, stranger," Anja said with a friendly wave.  
"Hey, Kurt," Erika said absently.  
A few paces further, they all stopped.  
"Nice of you to notice me," their brother smirked.  
  
~  
  
Scott blinked. As soon as one girl noticed, they all buried him in  
hugs. The thing was, Kurt's sisters were as normal as bread. They  
couldn't possibly have teleported in order to cover him.  
"[Ach! I need to eat... and breathe.]"  
"[We missed you, big brother.]" The girls sang.  
"Um." said Scott. "Not understanding German, here."  
"Just a family re-union," said Andrei. "We go through this every time  
he comes home."  
Scott jumped. The last time he looked, the giant Centaur had been  
outside. Yet, here he was, larger than life. Scott found immense  
fascination in the small point on Andrei's left ear.  
"Yes, I have two of them," he said. "They match."  
Scott felt himself going beet red.  
  
Gabi flinched when one of the girls - the youngest, with the honey-  
blonde hair - reached out and plucked half an eggshell from Gabi's  
hair.  
"Hey look," said the girl. "Mulch." She automatically crushed it, a  
ward against witches sinking ships.  
"*Erika!*" Her Mama scolded. "Be nice. She's had a bad day."  
"The least she could do is wash. Water's water, after all."  
"I didn't see it," Gabi murmured. She huddled in on herself and  
wondered if touching the blanket would infuse her with evil. These were  
people who lived with a *demon*. How much of everything here was  
tainted? "It could be cursed."  
"Superstitious, isn't she?" said the middle girl, the one with dark,  
brown-black hair. "Filly[1], water is water. If it makes you feel  
better, I'll run and fetch Father Gottfreid and he can bless it for  
you."  
"We could get Andrei to fetch him," said the eldest of the trio, whose  
tresses were auburn. "He'd be quicker."  
"Again, I'm a packhorse," Andrei sighed. "What am I, a bus?"  
"You're big enough for one," said Erika. "And you're the right  
colour[2]."  
Andrei emitted a very horselike snort. "I'm *gold*," he said. "Not  
mustard."  
"I could fix that," sang Astrid.  
"I'm goin'," said Andrei. "I'm goin'. Watch me go. I'm fetching Father  
Gottfreid, like a *good* packhorse."  
"Gallop," said the Papa of the house. "It's healthier."  
"You - people have a priest?" said Gabi. "A church?"  
"Oh yes," said the Papa. "Two priests. Only Father Heigl's not much  
for getting around any more."  
"He's a hundred and twenty," said Erika. "And *still* blessing  
babies."  
"[Can I use your telephone?]" said the American.  
"[Over there,]" said the Mama, pointing. "[Leave money in the jar,  
won't you?]"  
Gabi realised she was surrounded by girls. Demon-sisters. Did that  
make them succubi, witches or harpies?  
"I know that look, Filly," said the eldest. "We're not going to curse  
you, or hurt you, or make you participate in strange Gypsy rites."  
Gypsies? "You're gypsies too?"  
"Yeah, we're Gypsies. And Christians. It *is* allowed." The middle  
girl plucked half a rotten apple off Gabi. "Just like being holy *and*  
clean."  
"Put simply," said Erika. "We're going to start helping you get  
cleaned up. Whether you like it or not. Mulch doesn't exactly improve a  
house's smell, you know."  
"And our dear brother *is* finicky about cleanliness."  
"And you're dripping."  
  
Meanwhile, at the Institute...  
{Ring Ring! Ring Ring!}  
Xavier picked up the 'phone. "Yes, Scott?"  
"HEEEEELLLLLP!"  
  
[1] One of the terms of address unique amongst societies that live  
with Centaurs. 'Colt' for 'boy' and 'Filly' for 'girl'  
[2] I have no clue what colour busses are in Germany, but I figure the  
villages around Heirelgart get ex-school-busses, which are universally  
yellow.  
  
~  
  
As the three strange girls approached her, Gabi panicked. She drew a  
deep breath and bolted for the still-open door. She'd gotten a fair  
distance down the street before needing air again.  
Andrei un-froze and noticed her. "How'd you get here so quick?" He  
sniffed. "Sorry, but you *really* need to wash."  
  
"What the-" Katja stared at the empty chair. "Don't tell me we have  
another teleporter."  
Scott happened to turn around at that moment. "[She disappeared  
again]?"  
"[She disappeared a first time]?" Kurt asked.  
"[Yeah...I dunno how though]."  
Andrei entered, carrying the struggling girl at a sanitary distance  
from his body. He proceeded through the house in this way, disappearing  
into the bathroom. There was a sound of water running, then Andrei  
exited.  
"I am *not* going to be in there when she undresses," he said.  
"This is girls' work," Anja said in a superior tone of voice. "Come  
on, sisters."  
The threesome went into the bathroom, and sounds of a struggle  
ensued.  
Kurt finally pushed away his plate. "I can't eat any more now," he  
groaned. "Too tired. [Scott, where are my pajamas]?"  
"[In your bag]."  
"[Where's my bag]?"  
"[In the car]."  
"[Where's the car]?"  
"[Where you left it this afternoon]."  
There was a mutual pause.  
"[That's a good point]," Scott said. "[Why didn't you just 'port us to  
the car in the first place]?"  
"Dummkopf!" Kurt slammed his head into the table. "[Stupid, stupid,  
stupid]!"  
"[I guess 'porting back is out of the question]?"  
"[*Yes*]," Astrid broke in. '[I don't have anything left to feed  
him]."  
"[Oh, *I'll* get it]," Andrei's voice dripped sarcasm. "[No, I don't  
mind at *all*...]"  
"[You can drive]?" Scott asked skeptically.  
"[No, but I can carry your stuff]," Andrei shrugged. "[The car itself  
can wait, no]?" He turned to leave.  
"Wait!" Kurt patted his pockets frantically. "Keys."  
Andrei caught them in his oversized hands, and was gone.  
  
~  
  
Outside Winzeldorf, one of the townsfolk was minding his own business,  
gathering firewood - since there can never be too much firewood in  
Winzeldorf - when he got the fright of his life.  
"...muttermuttermutter... Fetch this, Andrei. Carry that, Andrei.  
*You're* big and strong, Andrei. Pfui! Once, just once, I aughta be too  
busy and let them break their fool backs themselves."  
Then, Jari Hengelmann swore on his life, a Centaur emerged into the  
clearing and stopped to stare at him.  
Jari stared back.  
"Just passing through, townsman," said the Centaur in the same voice  
as the grumbling Andrei. "I'm no harm."  
Jari dropped his wood, and turned and ran for Winzeldorf, screaming  
for help all the while.  
  
"We're going to-oo Heirelgart," sang the kids. "We're going to-oo  
Heirelgart!"  
"Whooo! Par-tay!"  
"SHUT UP BACK THERE!"  
"*Logan*..." Xavier chided. "Leave them alone. It's natural to be in  
high spirits on such an occasion."  
"It's a rescue mission," Logan rumbled, "not a frikkin' cook's tour."  
"All the same, everyone's heard about Kurt's hometown; aren't *you*  
even the least bit curious about the place that reared him?"  
"After the Elf's half-baked Centaur stories? Hell, yeah." Logan  
twitched a sneer, "But I'm goin' in expecting trouble."  
Xavier had to chuckle. "I wouldn't expect you to be any other way, my  
friend. However, I suspect Scott is merely in over his head - and  
*hasn't* been listening to his native guide."  
  
"Feeling a little better?" said Mr Wagner.  
"Uh-huh," Scott quavered. Both were studiously ignoring the sounds of  
a global thermonuclear cat-fight going on in the bathroom. "Still a lot  
wobbly though."  
Mr Wagner handed him a spoon with honey on it. "Here, knabe; this  
should settle your stomach."  
Scott shrugged and tried it. So far, so good. "Andrei," he said. "We  
thought he was imaginary."  
"He gets that a lot," said Mr Wagner. "Until people meet him."  
"So. Er. How--?"  
"God made them, just like he made Adam and Eve," Mr Wagner retrieved  
the empty spoon, washed it, and charged it anew with honey. "We don't  
ask a lot of questions, because a hoof to your soft bits often  
offends."  
Scott winced around his spoon.  
"[Oh! She's got white hair!]" One of the girls chirped. "[Cool!]"  
"Kurti, Kurti, Kurti," said the raven. "Kurti Festlichkeiten.  
Festlichkeiten, Festlichkeiten!" {RAAAAWWWWWK!}  
Mr Wagner sighed, retrieved some scant leftovers from the 'fridge, and  
fed them to the raven. "[There. You're fed. Now get out!]"  
"Raus, raus, raus..." The chatty bird hopped outside the window and  
onto a nearby branch. "Hubches Madchen! Kurti lieber hubches Madchen!"  
That one, Scott understood. "Who taught him to say that?"  
"All the girls at once, I think," Mr Wagner laughed. "I think that was  
during the Month of Girlfriends."  
Scott leaned forward. "Oh? Do tell..."  
"Eat first," said Mrs Wagner, handing him a bowl of light broth that  
had miraculously survived Kurt. "You'll need it."  
  
~  
  
Kurt, apparently deciding that pajamas were not strictly necessary,  
had fallen asleep on the couch. He could not, therefore, object to the  
embarassing stories his father was about to tell.  
"This was when Kurti was about thirteen and a half," Mr. Wagner  
settled with a cup of coffee. "Yes? I think so. About that. Anyway, he  
suddenly became interested in the entire female population of  
Heirelgart..."  
  
"Not good," Andrei groaned, as the man's screams faded into the  
distance, and then were joined by other voices. "When Kurt recovers, I  
may have to kill him."  
He searched for the car, and found it to the side of a road, a little  
distance outside Winzeldorf proper. He threw open the trunk, retrieved  
everything that didn't appear to belong to the rental company, and  
departed. At speed.  
Unfortunately, it was not the speed he usually traveled with. It  
seemed he'd done nothing but run back and forth today, and that took a  
toll on even the strongest of bodies.  
"Move!" he ordered his feet. "Can't be caught. No Impossible Brothers  
available for rescue missions."  
  
"Well, at least you look like a person now," Katja sat back on her  
heels. "Clothes...Anja, run and see if any of my stuff might fit her."  
Anja let herself out, and dripped on every floor between the bathroom  
and Katja's closet.  
  
~  
  
"Hop-la, Andrei... Lift thy feet. Hurry up, now." Both his hearts were  
hammering. "Not much further to home." He panted. Even two sets of lungs  
couldn't give him the oxygen he needed. "Not much (pant) further...  
Ach..."  
  
"Demonspawn! Monsters! Devils! HEEEEEEELLLLLLP!"  
"Jari Hengelmann, have you been drinking?"  
"Forget th' drink!" Jari screamed. "I just saw a Goddamned *monster*!  
Half horse, half man! Twenty feet tall[1]! A voice like thunder! It  
*spoke* to me! And it breathed fire[2]! I nearly got burned alive!"  
"Aye," said an observer in the crowd. "You can see the soot on 'im."  
"Ach, it's a night of devils," cried another.  
"Clearly, we've been too kind," said one of the town leaders. "Get  
your guns, Winzeldorf! It's high time we found out if devils can take  
hot lead!"  
"YEAH!"  
  
"...so when *she* turned him down, he had to try her twin sister,  
Heike Jarelmann. Even her four hands couldn't keep 'im off!"  
Scott roared laughing. "Wait. Four hands?"  
"The Jarelmanns have two sets of arms. All fully functional. They've  
had them for years. It's very handy for parenting."  
"...yeep..." said Scott.  
Outside, a Centaur galloped by.  
"That's the third one in as many minutes..." Scott observed.  
Mr Wagner's face dropped. "Andrei's in trouble. Best dig out th'  
blunderbuss."  
"*Blunderbus*?"  
"Ja. It's the only gun I've got that you can load with rock salt.[3]"  
Scott went to follow him. "This I have *got* to see..."  
  
"We're going to-oo Heirelgart..."  
"Are we there, yet?"  
"*NO!*"  
"We're going to-oo Heirelgart..."  
"Are we there, yet?"  
"SHUT THE HELL UP! ALL OF YOU!"  
"Asprin?" said Ororo.  
"I love ya, Darlin'," said Logan. He took three. "Oh, that's better."  
"We're going to-oo Heirelgart..."  
"Are we there, yet?"  
Logan's eye twitched. "How much faster can this frikkin' copter go,  
Chuck?"  
"We're going to-oo Heirelgart..."  
"Are we there, yet?"  
"The next copter," vowed Charles. "is going to have soundproof  
cabins..."  
"We're going to-oo Heirelgart..."  
"Are we there, yet?"  
  
[1] Andrei's only 8'3"[He's still young], but fear can do funny things  
to recall. Give him a few minutes and Andrei'll be breathing fire and  
consorting with demons from Hell.  
[2] See?  
[3] A non-lethal round. but as painful as all living hell to the  
recipient.  
  
~  
  
Andrei's hooves ate up the turf at an astronomical rate, but it just  
didn't seem to be enough. He gulped down huge lungfuls of air, cooling  
his throat and trying to force his aching legs onwards. Tell-tale  
twinges made themselves known in his hocks, and he groaned as the ground  
took a swift incline and he was forced to lean his human torso forwards  
to keep his balance. Not good when you're already short of air. Not good  
at all  
_Scheisse!_ He swore heatedly. _I'm gonna kill that little blue fuzz-  
ball when I see him! Andrei Guisemann is no errand boy!_  
He blew out a cloud of steam through his nostrils, hypothetical fates  
for certain fuzzy elves growing steadily more exotic with every step.  
Perhaps it was this lack of concentration that did it, or perhaps it  
was simply the many aches and pains snagging his attention away from the  
path ahead. Whatever the case, Andrei didn't see the pothole. At least,  
not before he stepped in it.  
It wasn't a very big thing, probably made by some rabbit or other  
small animal that had thought better of making its home so near the  
village and so left the construction half-finished. However, it was  
large enough to fit his entire front right hoof, wedging it firmly in  
place and keeping it there most abruptly as the rest of his hulking body  
tried to move on.  
The centaur let out a cry as the rest of his hooves, deprived of the  
steadying influence of their brother, splayed outwards, taking their  
none-too-happy master with them.  
He was even less happy when a resounding crack rent the air, followed  
swiftly by a surge of burning pain that spurted up his leg and caused  
him to drop his precious cargo. Both Kurt's and Scott's belongings  
swiftly covered the area, suitcases bursting open and distictly American  
clothes flying everywhere as Andrei went down. Hard.  
Luckily - or was it, unluckily? - as he tilted sodeways his ensnared  
hoof wrenched free of the rabbit-hole, and he crashed to the ground on  
his side, massive legs pedalling the air fruitlessly.  
"Scheisse!" He yelled, unable to help himself, and a loud moan escaped  
his mouth before he could stop it. "Kleines Bastardkaninchen! Ich hoffe  
es einstieg in Topf Astrids! Und alle ist es Verwandte!"  
Several minutes passed before his breathing slowed enough for him to  
take stock of his situation.  
When he was considerably calmer, Andrei propped himself up with his  
arms, craning his thick neck until he could just about see the offending  
right leg. There was no telling swollen patch, nor extra bends where  
there shouldn't have been - for which he was eternally thankful, and  
showed it so by instantly making a traditional sign of thankfulness as  
best he could with one hand. Not an easy task when it had to be kept  
pressed to the floor to avoid toppling over again. Broken limbs were  
particularly hazardous to centaurs, their equine halves seeing that any  
such injury be magnified threefold in side-effects.  
Hoping fervently it was just a light sprain - _Ha! Fat chance!_ -  
Andrei gingerly levered himself upright, cursing again as he caught  
sight of the clothes and other possessions rapidly being blown to the  
four winds around him.  
A brightly coloured item fluttered over, catching on his arm, and he  
saw that it was an orange T-shirt with some unidentifiable english  
scrawl emblazoned across the front. With a critical eye he deemed it too  
small for the glasses-wearing newcomer, and whisteled admiringly at the  
colourful raiment.  
_Kurti, you dark horse. You *have* been doing well for yourself across  
the pond, haven't you?_  
He grabbed the shirt before it had chance to blow away again,  
procrastinating putting weight on his injured leg again by reaching out  
and grasping any errant clothing that came his way. Soon he found  
himself in possession of an additional pair of brown pants, two more  
bright T-shirts, and a pair of green stripy boxers with small words  
printed on them in clear black font. He read them aloud, his broad  
accent clinging to the english words.  
"_I don't *do* mornings. If you want deep and meaningful thought, I am  
available in the afternoons._"  
Understanding, he smiled. _Kurti, you nut._  
Finally the time came when there was no more clothing salvagable, and  
Andrei resigned himself to the fact that he would have to chance the  
journey back now.  
However, he never got chance.  
A low buzzing filled the air, swiftly turning into angry voices.  
Twitching one ear backwards, Andrei discerned that the owners of said  
voices were still far enough away, but gaining on him fast.  
"Bummeln Sie!"  
Shifting his weight slightly, he tried to lurch upwards onto his feet,  
emitting a thin cry of agony in the process. One hand clamped down over  
his mouth as he realised what he'd done, but by that time it was too  
late. His extra-sensitive hearing picked up an especially lous shout,  
and several unrepeatables passed his lips in exactly no seconds flat.  
["Over there, good people! I heard something! Let us drive these  
hellish beasts back into the pits of Hell together! We'll show them  
Winzeldorf is no place for *their* kind!"]  
["Yah! Yah!"] the ensuing crowd answered heartily, and through their  
manic shouts Andrei picked up the sound of dogs, baying the choking  
howls of hounds pulling desperately on their leashes.  
_Dogs!_ A cold wave of new fear washed over him. _Humans I can deal  
with, but *dogs*!_  
Yet, there was nothing he could do, save stumble forward, favouring  
his left foreleg and trying to find either a safe spot or a place where  
they could lose him.  
[The hounds have its scent! release them! Let them tear it limb from  
limb, boys!]  
A joyous barking split the air, and Andrei silently prayed for a  
miracle as beads of sweat began to dribble down his strained brow.  
  
~  
  
Werner Guismann was, if possible, even bigger than his son. And like  
most large people, was shockingly gentle and quietly spoken. "Hop up,  
knabe," he said to Scott, patting his withers. "You ain't gonna keep up  
with just two feet."  
"Er. I'm not good with horses," he said.  
"Good, 'cause we ain't horses," and with that, Mr Guismann hoisted him  
up and bade him, "Hang tight."  
The Centaurs of the village, some bearing arms, lots giving rides to  
humans, moved into a trot.  
"I-I-I'm-m-m-m n-n-n-n-no-o-ot-t-t-t-t s-s-s-s-sur-r-r-re abo-ou-u-u-  
ut this-s-s-s..." Scott managed jounced around by the Centaur's  
movements.  
"Try bouncing *with* me," suggested Mr Guisman. "And hang on!"  
"Why-y-y-y-y?"  
"'Cause we can hear dogs!" They reached the crest of the hill.  
"[CHARGE!]" Shouted Eric Myers.  
The Centaurs galloped down the hill.  
  
{Yipe!} A dog flew over the mayor's head.  
Andrei was in no mood to be gentle. These were verdammt dogs that were  
after *his* hide. And he could only use one hoof at a time.  
One hoof, and the small tree he'd uprooted to use as a cudgel.  
They were everywhere. There was no way he could hold them off. Loose  
clothes and miscellany lay scattered and forgotten across the hillside.  
A dozen rifles cocked.  
"We have you now, demonspawn."  
{...rumblerumblerumblerumble...}  
Andrei grinned. "No, you idiot. *We* have *you*."  
And with a sound like thunder, half of Heirelgart came charging down  
the hill.  
"Get the bastards!"  
"Child-killers!"  
Winzeldorf reacted predictably - a lot of screaming and wild shots  
that mostly went wide.  
Heirelgart, on the other hand, knew how to aim on the run. Fortunately  
for Winzeldorf, Heirelgart believed in non-lethal rounds. And fists.  
  
Scott aimed at the weapons, knocking them out of hands and throwing  
them off their aim. And, occasionally, putting out torches before they  
could start a fire.  
He was certain that, once the entire ordeal was over, that his ass was  
never going to forgive him.  
  
"We're going to-oo Heirelgart..."  
"Are we there, yet?"  
"We're going to-oo Heirelgart..."  
"Are we there, yet?"  
"We're going to-oo Heirelgart..."  
"Are we there, yet?"  
"Logan?"  
"I'm hopin' they'll shit *themselves* off."  
"We're going to-oo Heirelgart..."  
"Are we there, yet?"  
"We're going to-oo Heirelgart..."  
"Are we there, yet?"  
{Bweep bweep bweep!}  
"Eh?" Ororo looked at the readout. "We're picking up Scott... He's in  
the middle of a *mob*."  
"Oh dear..." sighed Charles.  
"Rescue mission, it is." Logan swept the chopper downwards. "I'm gonna  
buzz 'em. Aughta scare the crap out of most of 'em."  
  
~  
  
A roar, heard even over the shouts, gunshots, and stampeding  
townspeople, descended over the field.  
"It's a demon-bird!" The Winzeldorfians tripped over each other in  
their haste to escape.  
"It's a helicopter!" Mr. Guismann recognized the modern marvel.  
"[It's the Professor]!" Scott realized.  
Trees snapped back and forth in the maelstrom of the rotors.  
"The evil wind of destruction!" Winzeldorfians screamed.  
The fearsome aircraft swooped lower into the open area, its runners  
narrowly missing the heads of certain riders.  
Logan leaped from the hatchway, roared something incomprehensible, and  
gave chase. As if Winzeldorf needed any further convincing.  
"[*That's* the Professor]?" Werner said incredulously.  
"[No, that's Logan]," Scott said. "[He's usually a little more  
civilized]."  
  
Astrid had examined Andrei's leg, pronounced him fit to limp, and  
rounded up two other centaurs willing to support him on a slow walk  
home.  
  
"Yahoo!" Bobby, unable to contain himself any longer, made an ice  
slide out of the Velocity and skated to ground level. His first action  
there was to caper about, singing "We made it to-oo Heirelgart, we made  
it to-oo Heirelgart!"  
"Technically, you're closer to Winzeldorf," Scott informed him.  
Bobby turned to the source of the voice and did a quick double-take.  
"Yo guys!" he shouted skywards. "Get out here! You gotta see this!  
Fuzzman wasn't kidding about the centaurs!"  
Kitty, Jubilee, and Jamie appeared in the open doorway. "Cool!"  
  
"Close the door," Storm ordered from the pilot's seat. "Unless you've  
taken up low-altitude sky-diving."  
Kitty slid the hatch shut, and the Velocity lifted towards Heirelgart,  
leaving the townspeople to get there by more primitive means.  
  
~  
  
The other half of Heirelgart was gathered near the village square.  
It's not every day that one gets to stare at a real live MiB-style  
unmarked helicopter.  
"Is that it?"  
"Yup."  
"Where are the Americans?"  
"Helping the Professor, I think."  
"The crazy bald man in the wheelchair?"  
"That's him."  
"He can fly that thing?"  
"Hssh! Here they come."  
"Oh good lord!"  
"They're *naked*!"  
"Cover your eyes!"  
"Can't they afford clothes in America?"  
  
Kitty stared. "Um. Are these people like, superstitious?" She was  
wearing, for the record, one of those hankerchief-tops and a pair of low-  
slung hot pants, both in her favourite shade of pink.  
"Beats the crap outta me," said Rogue. She was wearing her usual gear,  
save the skirt was short enough to show the tops of her stockings, and  
the see-through net top was a pale grey.  
"Hmp! Peasants." Amara dismissed. She wore a boob tube with torn up  
denim shorts, and pretty, beaded sandals that showed off her painted  
toenails.  
"No fair!" Rahne, clad in a bikini, dumped her stuff on the cobbles.  
"He said there were hot springs, here. I wanted tae swim..."  
There was a chorus of "Eep!"s from the contingent of Heirelgart that  
understood English.  
"I think he said they were up in the mountains," said Jamie. He wore  
his usual shorts and shirt.  
"Rats." Rahne dug a flimsy scarf out of one bag and improvised a quasi-  
skirt for herself.  
"*Cobbles?*" Evan whined. "There's no way to skate on *them*... how  
can I show of my righteous boarding skills?"  
Jean emerged, frowned at the populace of Heirelgart, then turned  
bright pink before diving back into the chopper. She emerged a few  
minutes later with a pair of slacks hung over her miniskirt and her  
knotted shirt unknotted and tucked into her pants. Her skin tone matched  
her hair.  
"What the hell bit *you*?" Rogue asked.  
"...eeeeeeep..." squeaked Jean, trying to hide behind one hand.  
"OmyGodOmyGodOmyGodOmyGodOmyGod..."  
A Centaur child, no more than three, came up and tugged on Kitty's  
hand.  
"Yes?" said Kitty.  
"Fraulein," piped the child. "Why are you'n your friends naked?"  
  
~  
  
Anja returned to the bathroom, bearing some of Katja's slightly out-  
grown things.  
"Only took you half an hour," Katja attempted to divest Gabi of her  
towel. "What were you doing?"  
"Picking an outfit," Anja sniffed.  
"You're such a...a teenager!" Erika accused.  
There was something like an engine roar from outside, but much  
louder.  
"What's that?" Anja glanced towards the front of the house.  
"Dunno," Katja shrugged. "Why don't you and Erika go look? Come on,  
Filly, it's not like we haven't seen you already."  
  
Scampering feet and girlish giggles usually meant that someone was  
about to do something naughty. It was Kurt's older-brother duty to stop  
such behavior, or at least get involved in it. He awoke and stumbled to  
the front door.  
Kurt followed everyone's stare until his eyes found a very confused-  
looking group of X-Men. Wearing decidedly City clothes.  
"Let me guess," he said. "Scott invited you all, and forgot to mention  
any of the things I've been trying to teach him."  
Scott changed colors to match Jean.  
"I hope you've brought something to change into," Erika piped up.  
"Even *Katja* doesn't have *that* many clothes."  
"Actually, she might," Anja did a quick headcount.  
"Could all of you try *not* to embarass me to death?" Kurt pleaded.  
"For goodness sake, put on something decent!"  
Kitty disappeared into the helicopter and returned wearing an ugly,  
shapeless sweatshirt in a dull shade of green. Heirelgart seemed to  
accept that.  
The other girls also came out in reasonable stages of modesty, except  
for Amara, who didn't believe in covering up as long as it was above  
freezing.  
  
~  
  
Heirelgart followed them - at a respectable gossiping distance, of  
course - all the way to the Wagners' place.  
"The poor dear. Can't she afford proper jeans?"  
"Maybe that's why she's only got underwear on, on top."  
"(Gasp) You can see her navel!"  
"Kurti Greisswell, you go home, right now! You're too young to see  
this sort of thing!"  
"Aaaawwww, *Mama*..." The young man whined. "I wanted to see the naked  
Americans..."  
"HOME! NOW!"  
  
"Leiber Gott, I'll never live it down," Kurt mumbled. He was currently  
trying to vanish into the table. "I can hear it now. 'Ah, the famous  
Kurt Wagner who bought the naked American girls to Heirelgart'... I'm  
doomed. *Doomed*!"  
Andrei poked his head in a window, took one look at Amara, and  
promptly went bright red. "[Jesus, God, you can see her mane[1]!]"  
"[She doesn't *have* a mane, muscle-wit,]" Kurt chided.  
"[Yeah... but you can *see* that!]"  
Rahne emerged in a knee-length skirt and respectable top she'd bought  
from the US.  
"[Knees! Knees[2]!]"  
"[Andrei, get over it.]"  
"Speak *English*, you addle-pated peasant?"  
"Who are you calling a peasant? You have the legs worn off your jeans  
and *underwear* for clothes!"  
"I *bought* them like this!"  
"Can't you afford anything better?"  
"Stupid peasant!"  
"Naked American!"  
"Andrei!" said Mama. "No arguing through the windows. If you're going  
to fight with my houseguests, come inside and do it."  
"But my foreleg..."  
"Anja will wash your feet for you."  
"*Mama*..."  
"It'll give you a break from tormenting the poor Winzeldorf girl."  
There was a knock on the door. "Hallo, the house," said a frail and  
slightly cracked voice. "Is this where the naked American girls are?"  
"Father Heigl!"  
"Vater Heigl!"  
"[What are *you* doing out and about? Your hip!]"  
"[I can still move], I can still move." Father Heigl hobbled into the  
room, the one concession to his age being the cane that aided his  
progress. He was a thin old man who still had all his teeth and a  
mischevious sparkle in his eyes. "I heard about the naked Americans and,  
being an old man whose pleasures are thin on this world, I decided to  
come see."  
"I'm doomed..." said Kurt.  
Father Heigl made his way to Kurt and patted his shoulder. "There,  
there, knabe. You'll just have to find something more spectacular for  
Heirelgart to remember you by."  
"That's gonna take a lot of work..."  
  
[1] Centaurs have a line of hair down their human backs that resembles  
a mane on horses, save that it's usually shorter. Having others able to  
see it is roughly equivalent to running around in your underduds.  
Through the middle of town.  
[2] Stolen from _Platinum Grit_, but also a slight reference to  
_Stinz_ - in which a 'short skirt' is one where you can see the wearer's  
*calves*.  
  
~  
  
"NO!"  
"Bitte, Fraulein-"  
"Absolutely NOT! I refuse to dress like a... a mere *peasant*!" Amara  
stamped her foot petulantly. "It's demeaning, and I won't do it!"  
Kurt chanced a quick look around to make sure nobody was listening.  
"Be careful what you say, Fraulein. Heirelgart is composed of  
'peasants', and I doubt they'd appreciate you speaking of them so."  
The exotic girl snorted and folded her arms, peering contemptuously  
out of the doorway. "Like I care? I'm not lowering myself down to their  
level, worm, and that's final!"  
"Whose level?" Andrei padded almost-silently into the room, startling  
them both. On his hooves were soft fabric coverlets resembling slippers  
that spared Astrid's precious floors. Not that it mattered, since the  
stout wooden staff he was using to alleviate the weight on his foreleg  
left many dents and pock-marks in his wake anyway.  
Kurt looked up, muttering a quick "eep" and backing up a step to allow  
the massive centaur into his old bedroom. It was a smallish area, with  
paraphenalia and personal belongings he'd been forced to leave behind  
when leaving for America scattered across the floor where he'd left  
them. Andrei picked his way delicately across the wasteland with a grace  
that belied his huge frame, and stood across from where Amara sat  
sulking on the low bed.  
"Cheeseweight, you have a thing about bringing pretty girls home,  
don't you?" he grinned, eliciting a blush from the hapless elf.  
"Klappe, Andrei," Kurt hissed, the fur around his cheeks darkening  
noticably.  
Amara shifted slightly, pleased about the 'pretty girl comment', but  
more than a little intimidated by the hulking centaur mere feet away.  
Her jaw set into a stubborn line, and she pointedly swivelled around so  
that her back was turned on the dowdy, mundane outfit Kurt had extracted  
from his sister's wardrobe for her.  
Kurt rolled his eyes. "Fraulein-"  
Amara simply sniffed and stuck her nose in the air. "No!"  
Confused, Andrei scratched the back of his head where his hairline  
ended and his mane began. "What's the problem?" he asked. "Not her  
size?"  
"I wish," Kurt answered, lashing his tail with irritation. ["She  
refuses to wear anything I show her. Says it's all unfit for royalty.  
Sheesh, but this girl's caused me more problems and aggro then I care to  
remember."]  
Andrei goggled. ["Royalty?!?"]  
Mentally, Kurt slapped his forehead. ["Ach, never mind. I'll explain  
later. Right now, I have to figure out some way of getting this Filly  
properly clothed before one of the villagers blows a gasket."]  
["You may be too late about that,"] Andrei's ears flicked backward  
where they could here the tell-tale sounds of raised voices from the  
floors below. ["You can practically *swim* in the amount of drool  
Heirelgart's men have already produced because of your friends. I'm  
thinking of charging admission to the pool soon."]  
"Eew!" Kurt grimaced, sticking out his tongue.  
Amara, annoyed at being ignored, shot a murderous glance across at the  
two atypical teens. "What are you two talking about?! she demanded  
irritably.  
"Nothing, Fraulien," Kurt assuaged, raising his hands against her  
hostile tone. ["Except the best way to kick someone from the second  
floor and make it look like an accident."]  
Andrei covered a giggle with his hand, and Amara glared at the both of  
them. "You're doing it again! I order you to stop that immediately and  
speak a language I can understand!"  
"Your orders don't count for squat here, Princess," Kurt shot back.  
"The natives don't like being commanded like nothings, and you've done  
very little to fit in and gain their respect."  
"Ch!" She tossed her head, unfolding her arms and swiping the  
collection of clothing neatly laid out beside her into a crumpled heap  
on the floor. "I neither want, nor need the respect of *peasants*!"  
At once, Kurt went very still. The sight of his sister's belongings  
being so callously mistreated stirring something inside of him. His body  
stiffened, and his golden eyes narrowed at the rude girl.  
Andrei leaned down, and whispered into his friend's pointed ear, ["You  
know, Cheeseweight, I think I have an idea how to get her properly  
dressed. One I'm sure you'd enjoy, ne?"]  
Kurt shot him a suspicious look. ["What exactly do you have in  
mind?"]  
Amara's resolve quailed a little as the two Teutonics whispered and  
and laughed to themselves in a tongue she couldn't understand. She  
wasn't quite so dense as to disregard Kurt's negative reaction to her  
behaviour, and a small knot of misgiving manifested in her stomack as  
the stupid centaur laughed openly and pointed at her. It set hard as  
they both looked up with strange grins plastered across their faces, and  
the curl of her lip drooped a little.  
"I love it! The perfect revenge!" Kurt crowed, advancing on her with a  
playful gleam in his eye.  
_Uh-oh._  
  
Scott choked a little on the beverage he was drinking when a shriek  
suddenly burst down the wooden staircase leading up to the Wagner  
bedrooms. He wiped a spill from his cheek and looked up, eyebrows  
raising in patent concern as he recognised the enraged screech of his  
teammate and terminal pain-in-the-butt.  
"What the - " he began, but was cut off by another outraged, wordless  
cry.  
Jean looked up from her cup, faint concentration showing in the crease  
of her eyebrows as she 'tuned into the right frequency', as she put it.  
"Don't worry about Amara," she then dismissed the noise, returning to  
her mug and swigging another warm mouthful. Mmm, but Kurt's mother made  
one killer vegetable soup. "She's fine."  
"But - " The X-Men leader pointed and gestured, but Jean only smiled a  
small enigmatic smile.  
"Let's just say, when you see her, you'd better not laugh, or she's  
likely to burn your head right off."  
  
~  
  
Gabi emerged from the bathroom, took one look at the scene, and  
screamed, "[Demons! Evil temptresses]!" Then she fled to the basement.  
Katja looked at the same scene, sidled up to Kitty, and said, "Wow, I  
like, totally love your pants."  
"My gosh, you do?" Kitty pulled up her sweatshirt to look critically  
at the tight waistband. "You don't think it, like, makes me look fat?"  
"No way! *I* would look fat in those! Not that I, like, get the  
chance..."  
"Let me guess...you're not allowed to wear this stuff?"  
"Girlfriend, I'm not allowed to *look* at that stuff!" Katja griped.  
"I've got more in my bag," Kitty gestured to the stairs. "You wanna,  
like, try some on or something?"  
"Oh, absolutely!"  
  
As the two girls bounced up the stairs, Evan scooched up behind Scott.  
"It's true!" he whispered. "Girls *do* have some weird connection!"  
  
"If you like being naked, you might as well go all the way!" Andrei  
held Amara down while looking the other way.  
Kurt was busy wrestling with her pants.  
"One more move, peasant, and I'm setting your room on fire!" Amara  
threatened.  
"No you won't," Kurt said calmly.  
"And why not?"  
"Because the Professor, Logan, and the entire population of Heirelgart  
will kill you."  
Amara kicked out, and Kurt landed on his bum, holding her pants.  
"Wunderbar," he said, rising back to his feet. "Now your shirt."  
  
If you'd wanted to, you could have easily found a dozen people to  
testify that Amara's scream was at least as loud as the helicopter had  
been.  
  
~  
  
_Don't laugh, don't laugh, don't laugh, don't laugh, don't laugh...._  
Evan couldn't help it. Even with both hands clamped down over his  
mouth and a wad of tissue shoved inside it his peals of laughter could  
be heard the length and breadth of the house. They were loud enough, in  
fact, to bring several members of the X-Men plus their hosts running.  
"What is it?" Jubilee asked breathlessly, having bolted inside and up  
the stairs so fast that, had it not been for the darker hair and  
complexion, she could've been mistaken for Quicksilver. "What's the  
matter."  
Evan could only hold his stomach, doubled over in inconsolable mirth,  
and point mutely up the staircase to where the Wagner's bedrroms lay  
beyond.  
Logan frowned. "Cough it up, milk-boy. What's to do?"  
"I dinna think ye'll be gettin' much outta him," Rahne commented,  
tightening the knot on her makeshift skirt under the scrutinizing gaze  
of Werner Guismann and another, nameless member of his clan. She sniffed  
the air, testing it. "I c'n smell Kurt. But his scent's old."  
"He went upstairs some time ago with your friend, Latara," Astrid  
supplied.  
"Amara," Rahne corrected, "An' she's no friend o' mine, Mrs. Wagner."  
Astrid frowned a little at the mispronouncing of her family name, but  
held her tongue politely, not wishing to embarrass the foreign girl with  
the funny accent.  
Logan stepped forward toward the stairs, inhaling deeply as he grasped  
the handrail. "Yep, Kurt and the firecracker went this way earlier, and  
his centaur buddy wasn't too far behind 'em, either. Half-pint and the  
elf's sister have been through here too - I can smell her perfume."  
"Is that what that stink is?" Werner waved a thick-fingered hand in  
front of his face. "I wondered about that. Smells like mulch."  
Logan chose to ignore that comment, and took a tentative step upwards  
before being brought abruptly to a halt by a voice behind them all.  
"I wouldn't go up there just yet, teach. Not unless you want your feet  
burned out from under you." Evan grinned evilly, doing a passable  
impression of a leering gremlin as he pushed past his comrades, having  
at last found his voice again.  
"My feet - Whaddaya talkin' about, kid?"  
"Let's just say, Amara's not exactly feeling herself today" Ororo's  
nephew replied cryptically. "And she's not really in the mood for  
*sharing*, either."  
"I'm warnin' ya, spiky, I ain't one fer word games."  
"Aye," Rahne grabbed Evan's arm, spinning him around and glowering  
inches away from his face. "Ye know somethin', and y'ain't tellin'. Spit  
it out, Daniels. What's goin' on?"  
However, evan never got chance to answer, for at the precise moment a  
chorus of shrieks and screeched words came hurtling down the stairs.  
"Absolutely NOT! I refuse. I flatly refuse, you worm! No! Hey, now....  
take your hands off me, you great hulking monster! Unhand me at once!  
This is *not* proper treatment for a princess! I order you to release me  
right this instant! No, not over there! No! *NO*! They can't see me  
like.... like *this*! It's undignified! It's improper! It's  
*embarrassing*!"  
"Klappe," came another familiar voice.  
On the couch, Scott turned to Jean, raising his eyebrows above the  
lenses of his shades. "Was that - "  
"Kurt, yes," she nodded, a faint smile tugging at the corners of her  
mouth. "Amara too."  
Scott looked back at the stairs, perplexed. "But what are they - "  
"Doing?" Her smirk widened. "You'll just have to wait and see.  
They didn't have to wait long. No sooner had these words left the  
telepath's mouth, then something frayed and denim came fying down the  
stairs, followed closely by a scrap of material, which, when picked up  
by a rapidly blushing Logan, turned out to be a tiny boob tube that  
barely passed as clothing.  
"Hey," Rahne grabbed at the top, holding it up, "Wasn't this what  
Amara was wearing when we arrived."  
"Uh-huh," Logan affirmed, turning a startling shade of cerise and  
unconsciously wiping his hands on his jeans.  
"But if *this* stuff is down *here*," Jubilee in turn picked up the  
tattered shorts, "Then what is she...." The oriental girl looked up the  
stairs, and instantly burst out laughing. Everyone craned to look, and  
ended up in much the same shape, holding their sides with uncontrollable  
hilarity.  
Stood at the top of the sturdy staircase stood one Andrei Guisemann,  
and over his shoulder was a squirming bundle emitting various sqeaks and  
screeches to his back. The centaur grunted as she yanked at his mane,  
and unceremoniously unslung her and placed her firmly in front of him  
where she couldn't move fore fear of falling down the stairs, but could  
be seen by anybody who cared to look.  
And they all did.  
Amara was a picture. Her face was thunderous, and she folded her arms  
angrily across her chest. She was dressed in the manner of what could  
generously be called a giant cutsie doll, replete with frilly skirt that  
fanned out from her waist atop numerous petticoats and lacy pantaloons  
stretching to her knees beneath. The overlaying material was, in short,  
the most horrific pink chintz any of them had ever seen, and it  
stretched up to completely engulf her arms, chest and neck in frills and  
intricate crocheted patterns.  
But that wasn't the worst of it. Her long, dark hair had all been  
caught in a net and piled on top of her head under a huge pink chintz  
hat that tied with a white ribbon at her chin, and was not unlike that  
of one famous Miss Bo Peep.  
The assembled crowd took one look and erupted into hystrionics. Even  
stoical Logan managed a few guffaws.  
"Hey, wasn't that the fancy-dress costume Mama made up for me from my  
old curtains?" Anja asked, pointing. Amara's scowl deepened at the word  
'curtain'.  
There was a puff of smoke and the acrid smell of sulphur beside her.  
"The very same," Kurt assured his sibling. "And doesn't it look simply  
*divine* on her."  
Amara glared daggers at the fuzzy Teutonic, and waved a fist at him,  
not caring that his family and friends were watching her. However, any  
clout her shouting may have held was instantly lost at the sight of a  
frilly magenta parasol gripped irately in her other hand, which elicited  
yet another volcanic spew of hiccuping laughter.  
The princess was not amused.  
"I'll get you for this, you sorry excuse for an elf! i'll get you!"  
she screamed fruitlessly, drowned out by the sound of her own  
humiliation.  
For his part, the sorry excuse for an elf just grinned and flourished  
his tail.  
"I think I can see it on the Paris catwalk, can't you, Anja?"  
  
~  
  
Before Anja had a chance to reply, however, Amara emitted a growl of  
pure viciousness in Kurt's direction, and said fuzzy elf was off like a  
shot. Amara, of course, gave chase, which grew increasingly difficult  
considering the vast amount of chintz she was wearing.  
There were several {bamf}s and an incredible amount of laughter,  
considering the size of the group present (not to mention Magma's  
shrieks of rage), and then Kurt was at the door.  
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!"  
shouted Amara as Kurt flung open the door and bolted out into the bright  
daylight. She lifted up her petticoats and stormed after him, leaving  
various mutants, humans and centaurs (well, one) laughing hysterically  
in the cramped kitchen.  
Kurt was running on all fours now, trademark grin stretched to the  
breaking point, bolting down the dirt road. Darting his eyes to and fro  
he could see nearly every citizen of Heirelgart peeking out their  
windows in amused curiosity at the chase ensuing outside.  
Suddenly, a gigantic cloud of dust flew up behind him. He paused,  
laughing, then turned around. Amara had tripped, and was now floundering  
about uselessly in her vast lengths of clothing, trying to escape from  
the pull of gravity.  
Kurt doubled over in laughter, but suddenly stopped.  
All those watching (and laughing) soon noticed and paused to take a  
breath.  
Then they heard it.  
"Kill the demons!"  
"We'll skewer them!"  
"Burn them alive!"  
"Yes, every last one!"  
And that was how the situation changed from Amara vs. Heirelgart to -  
Winzeldorf vs. Heirelgart...and the X-Men.  
  
~  
  
Kitty had been barely restraining her laughter in the kitchen right up  
until the point the horde of Winzeldorfians had stormed into town.  
Gasping at the sudden change from gaiety to fear, she could only cross  
her fingers as Kurt darted back to pick up Amara and teleported away, re-  
appearing beside Jean. At the moment, Jean was in the process of tipping  
backwards, eyes rolling back into her head in telepathic shock. And of  
_course_ Scott was right there to catch her.   
"Hey, are you okay?" Kitty heard Cyclops ask Jean concernedly through  
the giant cloud of fog now invading her brain. Kitty shook her head to  
clear it, then took stock.  
_Okay. So, like, Jean's out of the picture, the Professor's looking  
unstable, Kurt's trying (like, unsuccessfully) to get Amara upstairs to  
change into battle uniform, everybody else is looking pissed, Heirelgart  
is - _ Kitty took a peek out the window and a glance behind her at the  
Wagners and Andrei. They looked pretty pissed, and Mr. Wagner had picked  
up his gun...thingie...fron the table. Gabi was peering cautiously out  
of the basement doorframe. _Heirelgart is preparing, and we've got the  
entire population of Winzeldorf about to bust down the place. Did I,  
like, miss anything?_ Just then, an angry car rental salesman pulled up  
and parked his car haphazardly at the side of the road, and got out,  
screaming about fake i.d.s in English broken with German. _Well, there's  
something._  
The Winzeldorf crowd stopped in the road, confused. The demon had  
disappeared, and the witch was nowhere to be seen. Fortunately (or is it  
unfortunately) for them, a dozen doors suddenly burst open, permitting  
many representatives of Heirelgart to pour angrily out into the open  
street.  
  
~  
  
The Winzeldorfians were like a greek chorus, repeating the word,  
"Aussenseiter" amongst themselves. That and "Stadtvolker". Neither of  
which, they liked very much.  
Of course, it didn't help Scott any that the Winzeldorfians had not  
only *found* the car, but tried to burn it as an artifact of evil.  
  
~  
  
The result was a rather fantastic explosion.  
"I didn't realize we had that much gas left," Scott said stupidly.  
"Move!" Jean physically forced this action upon him as a former engine  
part crashed into the middle of the street.  
Other objects, which the salesman certainly would have preferred to be  
*in* the car, rained down on Heirelgart.  
Consequently, the two houses nearest the blast caught fire.  
The pyromaniacal Winzeldorfians cheered, and attempted to herd  
anything not entirely human into the infernos. This included a number of  
young Centaurs, the entire Jarelmann family, and several household  
pets.  
  
Kurt had apparently succeeded in changing Amara into her uniform, as  
the Princess reappeared in the street.  
She took in the scene. Orange and blue flames leaped from at least  
three sources; sparks flew through the air; great clouds of smoke  
obscured the afternoon sun.  
A new power grew inside her. Adrenaline flowed, emotions soared. She  
flared up. A ring of fire burst outwards, its center at her feet.  
"Magma!" a voice shouted as if from a great distance. "No!"  
Fireballs streaked from her body.  
  
Kurt, for his part, was busy hyperventilating.  
Since his first visit to Winzeldorf, he hadn't exactly been a fan of  
fire. This was simply more than he could handle.  
He teleported to the safest place he knew.  
  
~  
  
Gabi watched the destruction unfold in horror. Her townspeople - *ex*-  
townspeople - had become bloodthirsty animals.  
She thought of running, again.  
_You can stop it,_ said a voice in her head. _You have the power._  
Gabit took a deep breath...  
The air became thick. The fires stopped. Sound stopped.  
She stepped around the statue-people and towards the frozen flames. In  
the timelessness, they weren't even hot. Carefully, she patted out every  
ember.  
A gasp, and she took in another breath, and stopped time again.  
This time, she trotted towards the fireballs, and deflected them away  
from the Winzeldorfians.  
When time resumed, they viewed it as a miracle.  
"No," she said. "It was witchcraft."  
Gasp, murmur murmur mumble rumble...  
Gabi flicked her hair, showing off the black witch's lock at her brow.  
"My witchcraft just saved all of you. You owe your lives to a witch."  
As one Winzeldorfian, they crossed themselves.  
She froze time briefly to get right up to the mayor. He looked  
frightened when he noticed her there. "I could crush your skull in a  
heartbeat, or send you flying into a mountain. I could take everything  
you own before you could blink. But I won't - so long as you do *not*  
make war on these people."  
"They're demons," murmured the mayor.  
"So are you. You tried to burn a child."  
A little Centaur boy fled the ash-blackened house and ran to his  
mother.  
"Look at them," said Gabi. "If it weren't for the extra feet, they'd  
be just like any other mother and babe. They're *people*, and you will  
let them *live*."  
"But--"  
"Go home," she ordered. "Or Winzeldorf will be destroyed in a blink.  
You *know* I can do it. Go. And don't come back."  
Cowering in fear, the people of Winzeldorf obeyed.  
Gabi watched them go, stiff and proud, until every last one of them  
was out of sight. Then she fell to her knees and wept, shaking like a  
scared child in the night.  
"Good work, Gabi," said the man in the wheelchair. He had the same  
voice as the voice in her head. "You stopped this situation from  
becoming a massacre."  
She sighed. "I can't help everything. That car--"  
"I know. You can't be blamed for the actions of your people. I'll  
clear up things with the owners, over there. Promise you won't run  
away?"  
"Where would I run? There's only Winzeldorf, and Winzeldorf is  
death."  
  
Evan had gone very quiet. He wasn't thinking about the insects, or the  
funny, horsey smell that Heirelgart had, or the cobbles that made  
boarding impossible. He was staring at Gabi.  
Who could have known, after the cowering and hiding that she'd done,  
that she'd be as brave as a lion underneath?  
_Wow..._  
Of course, it helped that she was pretty, too.  
Then he realised that he could hardly speak German and she barely knew  
any English.  
_This is going to be painful,_ he told himself. But he still walked  
over to her side and crouched down.  
"Guten Tag, Fraulein," he said, accent sucking worse than the vampire  
mosquitoes. "Mein name ist Evan Daniels. Er. Ich kann nicht spreche  
Duetche..."  
She giggled, hiding her mouth behind one hand. "I... Englisch speak  
bad," she managed. "Gabi Jorgensohn."  
They shook hands. She felt like silk. _Wow._ "Du bist hubches," he  
blurted.  
Gabi blushed. "You... very front[1]."  
  
[1] She means he's very forward  
  
~  
  
"Your, um, power," Evan tried. "What do you do?"  
Gabi tapped her watch. "Stop. You?"  
"Oh, you stop time," Evan grinned. "I get it. Uh, ich verstende? My  
power, look." He spiked up his arm.  
"Ah, Stachelmann," Gabi touched the side of one of the spikes.  
"Stachel," Evan repeated. "Spike. Yeah. For mein Name, mit a Y.  
Spyke."  
"Why?" Gabi furrowed her brow.  
Evan traced letters on the ground. "X, Y, Z."  
"Ah!" Gabi retraced the letters. "Ix, upsilon, tset."  
"Right, upsilon."  
Kitty suddenly appeared at their side. "Like, what are you doing?"  
"We're having a conversation," Evan rolled his eyes. "Duh."  
"We are talking," Gabi said haltingly.  
"Hey, you know English?" Kitty settled into a crouch.  
"Know English," Gabi nodded. "Ja."  
"Ow, I can't sit like this," Kitty planted her butt.  
Gabi looked questioningly at Evan.  
"Sie kannt nicht sitzen...like that," Evan waved his hand vaguely.  
"Since when do you know German?" Kitty raised an eyebrow.  
"Too much time with K-man," he shrugged.  
"Where is he, anyway?"  
Evan looked around. "Wo ist Kurt?" he asked. "Der blau mann?"  
"I am not knowing," Gabi shrugged.  
"Well, he'll turn up," Kitty said. "I mean, where's he gonna go?"  
  
~  
  
For Kurt, the safest place in Heirelgart was the town church. FOr a  
start, it was made out of stone, not the more flammable materials that  
made the rest of the town. Its fortlike construction always made him  
feel secure, like no evil could enter.  
And he could hide and *still* be able to do some good.  
"Please," he whispered to the unmoving statues. "Keep this town safe  
from fire?"  
"Hallo, Kurt."  
Kurt looked up. "Father Gottfreid."  
The younger of Heirelgart's ministers smiled. He'd changed a lot from  
the zealot that had arrived about a decade ago, and even some of the  
Centaurs were starting to forgive him. "I just heard from the  
Lowhards[1] about what's been going on. Winzeldorf?"  
"Ja. Winzeldorf." He shuddered. "I'm scared, and I'm ashamed..."  
Father Gottfreid sat beside him. "That's a little unusual. You're  
usually the first person to run into a burning house to look for trapped  
people."  
"I know. Burning's a terrible way to go."  
"For you to run, it has to be a pretty big fire."  
"It was an inferno. Magma was throwing fireballs and--" Kurt curled in  
on himself. "I couldn't stay... Help me, I couldn't stay."  
"Ach..." Gottfreid gave him a hug. "You've been brave more times than  
I could count, knabe. Always fighting fires at the front line. I think  
you're more than entitled to be afraid once in a while."  
Kurt shook his head. "Someone could be dead," he whispered, "because I  
ran."  
"Even with your American friends here? And the lady who makes rain?"  
Kurt smiled. "You're right. I'm a dummkopf."  
Father Gottfreid added a pat to his shoulder. "Just putting things in  
perspective," he said. "Consider it a debt repaid."  
  
[1] Yes, another side-fling to _Stinz_, but these Lowhards are just  
relatives.  
  
~  
  
The citizens of Heirelgart were still standing around, stupefied. The  
fires were most certainly out, yet no one had seen anyone do anything.  
There had been a brief moment of ashes before Magma reignited a few  
things. Then her energies, no longer fanned by roaring flames, died  
down. She reverted to her human form and fell to her knees.  
Storm summoned a gentle rain to put out the smoldering thatch, while  
Jean helped support Amara.  
  
"Where's Kurt?" Scott asked rather redundantly.  
"Don't know," Evan shrugged.  
"Shouldn't we look for him?"  
"Why?" Kitty looked up from her position on the ground. "Don't you  
think he knows his town better than we do?"  
Scott fidgeted, started to say something, then turned and walked  
away.  
"Control freak," Evan muttered.  
"Freak," Gabi repeated.  
"No!" Evan waved his hands frantically. "Nein! *Schlimm* vort lernen.  
Sie nie sprechen 'freak'."  
  
Kurt lay his head on Father Gottfried's shoulder. "It's not fair," he  
mumbled.  
"What's not fair?" the man asked.  
"Winzeldorf coming here...it's against the rules."  
"Which rules are those?"  
"Rules of being fair," Kurt closed his eyes. "Why can't I be safe  
anywhere?"  
  
~  
  
Father Gottfreid sighed. "My son, there's an old saying that's very  
morbid, yet very wise. 'There is no safety beyond the grave'. It means  
that life is dangerous, no matter what you do."  
"But-- I just want somewhere I can go and not worry about what people  
think... or what the neighbours are going to do to me or my family. Or  
my *friends* - because of how I look. I'm tired of running and hiding.  
I'm tired of being afraid. Why isn't there anywhere that just accepts?"  
"Heirelgart isn't enough for you?"  
"Winzeldorf *invaded* Heirelgart! When I left - they were close to  
burning us *down*!"  
"Let's look, then," Father Gottfried helped the boy up, and guided him  
to a clear pane of glass. Outside, Heirelgart stood firm, if slightly  
damp from the rain. "Looks to me like Winzeldorf went home."  
"They know where we are, now," said Kurt. "We were always safe before,  
because they never had a clue where we were. And now they'll be back  
with their hate and spite and everything... and it's all my fault. I  
lead them here."  
"We can always give them some rock salt if they show up again,"  
suggested Father Gottfreid. "And maybe give them a choice. Peaceful  
trade, or a load of salt in the hindquarters."  
"Why, Father, I never thought you so bloodthirsty..."  
"*THERE* you are!" said the mad American with the red sunglasses. "Do  
you know how many people think it's *funny* to pretend they don't  
understand English just so they can hear me trying to speak German?"  
"All of them?" said Kurt.  
  
~  
  
"Geez, Kurt! Do you know how worried you had us?"  
Kurt raised his eyebrows. "'Us,'" he quoted.  
"Me, okay, me! I was worried! Look, those Winzeldorf people left, you  
were gone - people make connections, okay? They were chasing you  
before...you've had other bad experiences with them! Let's just say that  
I was given a reason to worry, and leave it at that."  
Kurt looked at Scott, still catching his breath, speaking strong  
feelings of concern for him - and burst out laughing. Father Gottfried  
watched the scene play out with interest. "HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Oh,  
man! Geez, dude, you almost had me goin' there for a minute!"  
Scott cracked a smile, "So I have been improving. And here you'd said  
I'd never be able to act."  
At that moment, a great group of X-Men (the ones who weren't busy)  
appeared at the entrance to the church, having apparently ambled over to  
see where Scott was going (yeah, they took their sweet time).  
  
~  
  
The Americans filtered into the building, looking around.  
"How's this compare to other churches?" Kitty whispered.  
"Old," Rogue eyed the architecture. "Pretty big, considering the size  
of the town. Nice."  
"You can all come in," Kurt grinned. "We have no prayers in our  
rafters."  
Some of the younger kids took off chasing each other around the back  
passageways.  
Evan and Gabi caught up to the rest of the group. Gabi made a beeline  
for the front of the room (help, don't know what it's called), knelt,  
crossed herself, and started to pray. A lot.  
"Is that normal?" Kitty asked.  
"Define 'normal'," Rogue sighed.  
A band of Jamies filed out of a low doorway. "Bobby tagged me into the  
wall," one explained, "and Jubes made all the extras sit out." They took  
up several rows of pews.  
"Point taken," Kitty said.  
Father Gottfried raised his eyebrows. "Well, I haven't seen *that*  
before," he remarked.  
"Happens all the time," Scott said. "You almost get used to it after a  
while. Like everything else at the Institute."  
Kurt sighed and turned to face the thinning Jamie crowd.  
  
~  
  
Father Gottfried looked over the group with mild interest. "You must  
be the Americans I heard so much about," he said. "I take it all the  
naked ones are being forcibly restrained."  
"There's Rogue," said Jamie, pointing. "Everyone says her underwear's  
showin' through."  
"You are *so* lucky Ah can't hit you," muttered Rogue.  
"Oh," Father Gottfreid nodded sagely. "Differing standards. For one  
wistful moment, I'd thought someone had turned up skyclad." He put his  
head down and murmured something that sounded remarkably like, "Rats."  
"Is *everyone* in this village a voyeur?" Kurt sighed.  
"No, lad," Gottfreid laughed. "Part of my original posting request had  
'preaching to naked savages' in it. I certainly got everything *else*  
didn't I?"  
  
~  
  
Charles Xavier was tired.  
There was nothing *wrong* with him, per se, but nonetheless, he was  
tired. And it showed.  
He wheeled himself after his errant pupils unaided, motorised chair  
making odd whirring noises as the incline up to Heirelgart's rather  
gothic church steadily increased.  
He couldn't blame them for dashing off after Kurt - after all, the elf  
*was* their teammate. And wasn't that one of the key things the  
Institute stood for? Looking out for each other. Still, it might've been  
nice for one of them to hang back and keep him company. His wheelchair  
wasn't exactly built for high speeds.  
He yawned, corners of his mouth twinging a little as his jaws tried to  
stretch further than they could. Today had been...interesting, to say  
the least. Heirelgart was definately a unique place. Charles had always  
sensed a layer of truth overriding Kurt's thoughts whenever he tried to  
convince his peers of certain aspects concerning his home, but the poor  
boy's emotions were always a jumble whenever this place crossed his mind  
he practically projected his confusion like a cloying fog. Very bad  
psychic interference - especially with a mind as attuned as Xavier's.  
In fact, it had been a struggle ever since he first confronted Kurt  
with news of his home. That short interlude in his study seemed so long  
ago now, yet it had only been a handful of hours ago. However, they were  
a handful Charles could definately have done without.  
The mental barriers set up to protect his sensitive mind were  
difficult to maintain when Kurt insisted on sending out such potent  
jumbles of emotions, and they sapped Charles' energy more than he  
perhaps cared to admit. Even now, when he was still so far from the  
monolithic church, he could feel the young mutant's mind roll towards  
him like a tide of nebulous thoughts, whims and sensations. They powered  
down the slope, bringing with them a brimming cupful of the elfin  
mindset.  
Guilt.  
Relief.  
Companionship.  
Gratefulness.  
Contentment.  
Worry.  
Concern.  
Another stab of half-reared guilt lanced through the bald man's  
psyche, and unconsciously he stepped up his mental efforts to add a few  
blocks to the psychic wall around his brain.  
In his mind's eye he could clearly see a towering structure  
surrounding him, and felt Kurt's presence abate a little as it fortified  
itself against his -albeit unknowing, but no less damaging - effect. The  
wall was slightly stifling, but the relief as Kurt's emotions were  
blocked out was pleasant, and Charles pushed himself a little more to  
lay another block atop it.  
Of course, he could feel the other X-men too, but actually *being* in  
the place that caused him so much painful happiness seemed to be  
enhancing Kurt's natural mental waves, and Charles found himself picking  
them up moreso than the rest of his students. Scott, Kitty, Rahne, even  
Jean - they were all still there, and Charles could feel their minds too  
if he probed a bit, but everything was dwarfed by the overpowering  
emotions Heirelgart and its hisory of both happiness and fear stirred  
within Kurt.  
A drop of sweat formed on the seated man's brow, and he carelessly  
wiped it away with one hand.  
He looked down at his palm in surprise when it came away slick with  
sweat, thought the wetness on his forehead wasn't diminished in the  
slightest. Another bead of perspiration tracked down his temple, running  
to his chin and dripping onto the lapel of his favoured brown suit. The  
one he wore for special occasions - like meeting the parents or  
guardians of his mutant charges.  
_Odd,_ he thought to himself. _It's not an especially hot day, and  
this is hardly *strenuous* exercise._  
Another stab of unwarranted guilt managed to piece his psychic armour,  
and Charles winced visibly as it started up a sudden, strange throbbing  
in the back of his head. No more than a dull ache really, but hard to  
ignore. Like a bruise that's repeatedly knocked, or a strained muscle.  
Snatches of foreign thought snaked their way into his brain, though he  
tried in vain to push them away and preserve the thinker's privacy.  
_//but what if I bring .... something horrible down on them? My new  
family.... old family..... makes no difference..... still be the cause  
of their pain.....don't know if I could bear it....oh God, help them....  
protect them.... me.... my freakishness.... //_  
_Poor boy,_ Charles mused, even as he struggled to force several  
threads of blue elf from his rapidly cluttering mind. _He can't go  
through life blaming himself every time something goes wrong._  
He dragged in a few short breaths of air as his wheelchair bumped its  
way over a sizable rock. Charles jolted heavily, his sweaty finger  
slipping from the control. He juddered to a halt.  
_Urgh. Should've avoided that,_ he scolded. _Reactions must be slowing  
up in my old age._  
Lifting tired eyes he looked up to where the church doorway stood  
open. _Was it that far away before?_ He blinked, narrowing his gaze and  
shrugging. Pointedly, he ignored the nub of discomfort growing at the  
base of his skull. Another roll of Kurt-ish thought drew his attention  
away from it, and - probably against his better judgement - Charles  
added yet *another* block to the wall around his mind.  
With a click and a whirr, the chair moved off again. This time with  
the controls set and locked in position.  
The church doorway, however, just never seemed to get any closer. And  
now Charles was forced to squint just to focus on the cavernous interior  
beyond.  
The nub of discomfort increased, spreading like a warm pain along the  
bottom of his mind, and working its way upwards like a strange, miasma-  
like fug. Almost like a sedative taking effect.  
Almost....  
_//What if they *die* because of me?//_  
This last urgent worry sliced into the proffessor's mind like a warm  
knife in butter, and he uttered a muffled grunt as it ignited the fog  
inside him and he was consumed by an abrupt inferno not unlike that  
which had recently ransacked Heirelgart itself.  
Pain blossomed within his skull, sending a ripple of psychic power  
outward..... straight towards his mental shields.  
The wall teetered as a final block appeared to crest it. Already too  
large to maintain, this extra mental weight was simply too much, and in  
a blaze of silent destruction it collapsed in on itself, burying all in  
reach in it equivalent of rubble and psychic debris.  
Charles Xavier's eyes rolled upwards until only the whites showed, and  
without a word he slumped forward, the weight and angle of his body  
knocking aside his seat restraints. He slid out of his wheelchair,  
coming to rest in an ungainly heap as it kept going without him.  
Alone and unmanned, it continued with its journey up to the church  
entrance.  
  
Kurt looked up in alarm as a harsh, strangled cry rent the peaceful  
atmosphere of his sanctuary. Likewise, Gabi was startled from her  
fervent prayer with a "Hilfe! Was ist es?" and promptly stumbled  
backwards into the pulpit.  
"Was, im ganzem Namen von allem, das heilig ist, war das?" Andrei  
grumbled, raising his head and peering over the somewhat smaller  
Jubilee, whom he'd been amiably conversing with up until that moment.  
Several pews down, Jean emitted another cry and clamped her hands over  
her head as if in pain.  
Needless to say, Scott was the first by her side. "Jean? What the  
matter? What is it, Jean?"  
The redhead said nothing, but scrambled to her feet and barrelled past  
the taller teen as if he wasn't even there. Scott wobbled a bit, but  
threw his arms out and caught her in his string grasp.  
"Jeanie!"  
She looked up at the rarely used nickname, and Scott was surprised to  
see anguish in her green eyes. The kind of soul-crushing, stomach-  
turning emotion that instantly alerts you that something is wrong.  
Terribly wrong.  
"Jeanie," He continued in a softer tone, worried enough now not to  
care about a few curious looks thrown his way. "What is it? What's  
wrong?"  
Jean gulped. "Th.... the proffessor," she replied haltingly. Then,  
with a surge of strength obviously aided by her telekinesis, she pushed  
Scott from her and lurched away out of the yawning doorway. Scott  
scrabbled up and pursued her, vanishing into the pool of light that led  
outside.  
Kurt felt a cold wave of dread wash over him, and his gut dropped to  
his ankles at the usually collected Jean's whispered words and fevered  
movement.  
The Professor.  
_Dear Gott in Himmel, what's happened to the Professor?_   
  
~  
  
_Oh no, oh no, oh no, oh no, oh no, oh no..._ Kurt galloped up to the  
Professor's prone form. He felt so helpless. So scared. Herr Xavier had  
been the first outsider to look at him with something other than guilt,  
pity, greed or fear. The first outsider to treat him ilke a person. And  
now something was hurting him and he could do little but make the  
Professor's body comfortable until the others caught up.  
Somehow, he could feel it in his bones, this was his fault, too.  
If he hadn't gone off half-cocked.  
If he'd helped fight the Winzeldorfians.  
If he'd let them catch him and--  
_No._  
Kurt recognised that voice in his head. _Mein Herr?_  
_Don't think like that..._ he sounded weak. Exhausted. _You have a  
very loud mind._  
_It *is* my fault. I knew it. I - I should stay away._  
_No._  
_But I hurt people._  
_You help them as well._  
_Ja. After I hurt them. The best place for me is far away from  
anyone._  
_NO!_ Xavier's hand tightened around Kurt's wrist, effectively  
trapping him. _It's not *all* your fault, Kurt. You do your best. Like  
everyone else does. It isn't your fault if some fail to understand._  
_But - I'm hurting you, too..._  
_You can fix it,_ Xavier's mind whispered. _I believe in you._   
  
~  
  
_Fix it._ Kurt stared around helplessly. _Fix what? Okay, think  
quietly._  
That was hard. Kurt didn't usually like to hide his feelings.  
"Help me," he offered a shaking hand to the nearest person, who  
happened to be Jubilee.  
Scared by his apparent meltdown, she slowly sank to the ground next to  
him.  
"I can't hold it," he choked out. "Help me."  
Jubilee held his hand and was silent as he poured out all his most  
painful thoughts.  
  
"...and it's all my fault and I should have *done* something," he  
said. "And now the Professor, and I hurt him, do you understand? I'm so  
sorry..."  
"My gosh," Jubilee's eyes were wet. "I had no idea...why didn't you  
tell someone?"  
"It's mine," Kurt wiped his own eyes with the proffered tissue.  
"Innocents shouldn't see it. Should have been able to keep it..."  
"No one could hold that by themselves," Jubilee patted his hand with  
the one of hers that still had circulation. "Are you all right now?"  
He nodded, sniffed. "Thank you...for sharing."  
"Now it's ours," Jubilee smiled gently. "A burden between friends is  
lightened by half."  
  
~  
  
"You're sure?" Kurt asked. "I was told once - that nobody liked a  
complainer... and nobody wanted to hear about my problems." _Because  
they could already *see* them..._ The old jibe from a St Ulric's boy  
still hit hard and deep.  
"Hey, everyone needs to complain every now and again. It's okay as  
long as you don't overdo it, y'know?"  
Kurt started to smile. Right at this moment, he had what he needed.  
  
Gabi, meanwhile, was still seeking her solace. Her prayer had turned  
into a panic-wrought mantra of, _Purify me. Purify me. Purify me,_ as  
the tears began to fall.  
"Can I help you?"  
She looked up at the young priest. "I - I need you to excorcise the  
demon within me," she said. "I don't want to be a witch. I don't want to  
be evil."  
"Deja vu..." muttered the young priest. "My child; you don't *have* to  
be evil just because you can do something that others can't."  
"But - I stop time."  
"And Kurt can pop between one place and another in a blink," he said.  
"And the young American boy, Evan, can grow bones so quickly that they  
become bullets. You've seen and talked to them, ne? Are they evil  
because of what they can do?"  
"Winzeldorf thinks so."  
"And what about you? What do you think?"  
"I'm starting to think," said Gabi, "that Winzeldorf has less brains  
than a rotten turnip."  
The young priest laughed and smiled. "Clever girl." He patted her  
hand. "That's exactly right. You're no more evil than the sun. In the  
desert, it bakes you. At the poles, it's welcome after the long and dark  
winter. If you have a magnifying glass, you can start fires with its  
light. It's not evil, it's just there."  
"It's the way people see it; and the way they use it that counts,"  
Gabi concluded.  
"And what do you choose to do?"  
She thought about it. Long and hard. "I choose to make myself over. I  
choose to be a better person."  
"Very clever," said the young priest. "*Very* clever."  
  
~  
  
"Professor?" Kurt touched the fallen man's hand gently.  
Xavier roused somewhat. "Well done, Kurt," he mumbled.  
Kurt moved towards the Professor from a number of angles, trying to  
figure out how to lift him.  
"Here we go," Jubilee slid her arms under the Professor's. "Take his  
legs."  
Together, they managed to get him back in his chair.  
  
"Jean!" Scott caught up to the young telepath leaning against a fence  
down the road.  
"Professor," she whispered. "His shields...fall down..."  
"And you...?"  
"Why didn't I hear him?" she looked up, her eyes wet.  
"Hear who?"  
"Kurt," she seemed distraught. "I didn't hear him. I should have  
known. I should have helped him. Why did the Professor see and I  
didn't?"  
  
~  
  
"Maybe he was protecting you," Scott suggested. "Maybe the Professor  
was shielding you from him, or something."  
"All the same... I could have *done* something."  
"Like what?"  
"Like--" Jean fumbled for a minute, "*telling* people. You know -  
helping him out and stuff."  
"Jean, I love you," Scott began, "but one thing I've learned is that  
Kurt and pity don't mix well. I'm pretty sure he was glad to be treated  
like any other kid."  
Jean sighed. "Yeah."  
  
~  
  
Gabi held on to the doorframe as she watched the Americans cluster  
around the Professor. The man who'd made her see that she wasn't  
entirely evil.  
And that damned bird had decided to roost on the Professor's chair and  
squawk, "Treats! Treats! Treats!" at the top of its lungs.  
Gabi had to laugh.  
"Hallo," said the American boy. Evan. "You are pretty."  
The language gap between them opened up like a gulf. "[You. Nice,]"  
she managed. "[You like Gabi?]"  
"[Very much,]" he confessed. "[I wish I knew more German...] You come  
with us? Learn in my School?"  
"I... I don't know. What happens if I leave?"  
Evan blinked. "Um. You say what?"  
"[Gabi go. What Winzeldorf do?]"  
"Winzeldorf afraid. Winzeldorf stay in Winzeldorf?" He shrugged. "I  
know not the German. Um. [They're too scared to come back.]"  
"[Winzeldorf scared of Gabi. Gabi go, and Winzeldorf not scared?]"  
"*OH*... No. They scared. They not know you go. They afraid you be  
here, and they not come."  
Such impeccable logic. Gabi smiled. "[You right. They *not* know. They  
stay scared. They stay in Winzeldorf.]"  
"And Gabi come?"  
She ducked and blushed. "[Gabi come.]"  
The American launched into a bizarre victory dance. There was much  
yawping and jumping about.  
  
~  
  
As soon as Evan recovered enough wits to do something constructive, he  
grabbed Gabi's hand and dragged her over to the Professor.  
"She wants to come to the Institute," he said, grinning like a fool.  
"How do you know that?" the Professor raised an eyebrow.  
"She said so," Evan shrugged. "I think..." He looked helplessly at  
Kurt.  
"[Gabi, do you want to come to our school for mutants]?" Kurt asked.  
"[Yes]," she nodded. "[I want to be a good witch]."  
"[Do you need to pack]?"  
"[I have nothing]," Gabi spread her empty hands. "[I'm not going home,  
and...these are your sister's clothes]."  
Kurt rubbed his head and looked around. "[You can probably wear  
something of Kitty's for now. We'll buy you new things in America]."  
"[Real clothes? I don't want to be naked]."  
"[Real clothes]," Kurt promised.  
  
Gabi went more willingly into the Wagners' bathroom this time, and  
exchanged Katja's clothes for Kitty's jeans and ugly blue sweater.  
In the living room, Kurt was saying good-bye to his family and  
everyone else who walked in.  
"Kurti Festlichkeiten," Schwartzi demanded again.  
"[What, this wasn't enough fun for you]?" Kurt stroked the raven  
affectionately. "[A big fight and lots of naked Americans]?"  
"[Pretty girls]," the bird said.  
"Ja, sehr hubches," Kurt laughed. "[And I get to go home with them  
all]."  
"[You better write me about it]," Andrei elbowed him.  
"[Yeah, I'll tell you all about their knees]," Kurt smirked. That  
earned him a friendly cuff about the head.  
"Are we *leaving* yet?" Logan growled from the corner.  
"Coming!" Kurt hugged his parents and sisters, and followed his  
American friends out the door.  
"We're going home to Bayville!" Bobby sang as they boarded the  
Velocity.  
"Forget the next 'copter, Chuck," Logan sighed as he started the  
rotors. "I'm rigging something up as soon as we get home."  
The people of Heirelgart waved them off, and continued doing so until  
the helicopter carrying new and old friends disappeared in the  
distance.  
  
The End! 


End file.
